Still loving you

16. Hungover ?

Waking up next to Ayla was probaly the most beautiful thing I could ever see in my life . The morning light was shining on her, her soft skin glimmering as dawn found its way into her room . Her hair was spread all around her face and her freckles were highlighted by the sunbeams . So she could look that good without even trying to, noted . I tried hard not to stare but watching her was like looking at a painting, not a Picasso of course, more like these paintings that look so real you could think they're a photograph . But no, she wasn't a photograph, she was here, sleeping right next to me and as always I didn't know what to do . She would probably not remember anything about last night and even less the fact that she asked me to stay with her . So I did what I thought was right and what was certainly the best thing to do . I got out of her bed, quietly closed the door behind me and went downstairs where I found Justin asleep on the couch a pink glittered hat on his head . I resisted my urge to laugh as I passed him by heading to the kitchen . I was so hungry and the kitchen was a huge mess just like the living-room and mostly the rest of the house . Despite all the empty bottles on the counter I managed to find a cup and prepared some coffee trying not to drop anything on the floor as it was already dirty enough .

"Hey..." said an half-asleep Justin from behind me .

"Hello" I smiled "Hungover ?"

"Ummf..."

"I'll take that as a yes" I chuckled as he sat on one of the kitchen chairs "Want coffee ?"

"How do you have so much energy in the morning ?" he asked yawning .

I refrained a smile "I slept well"

"Well you surely did not sleep on the couch" he laughed "ouch I shouldn't laugh"

"Headache ?" I asked amused by him massaging his temples as this simple move could make his pain disapear .

"Shut up" he laughed and soon regretted it .

"There" I handed him a cup of hot coffee along with a glass of water and some aspirin "take this"

"Thanks..." he paused "You're really nice you know"

"Wow thank you..." I replied honestly moved by what he just said .

"Really, how come you don't have a boyfriend ?"

Okay, that was new . Coming out more than four years ago made me completely forget that I wasn't walking around with 'I'm gay' written on my shirt and that therefore not everyone knew girls made my heart beat stronger than boys .

"Justin" I sat opposite to him being kind of surprised by this question I hadn't here in a long time "Justin I like girls"

As I pronounced the last words his hungover seemed to completely vanish leaving a dumbfounded expression on his face . He wasn't talking anymore he was just looking at me without blinking his mouth wide open .

"Justin ?" I asked worried that the Justin I thought I knew could be homophobic .

"Yeah yeah sorry" he came back to reality his glance falling back on the table .

"Are you okay ?"

"Umm yeah I... I just" he was rubbing some imaginery stain on the wood "I just thought..."

"What is it ?" I said willing to hear what was the problem, I was tired of this .

"Aimee I... I-I kind of had... No nothing that's stupid..." he replied quietly like a whisper .

"Justin are you crying ?" I asked seeing his eyes filled with tears .

"No I'm not..."

"Hey..." I walked to him putting my hand on his shoulder starting to understand what was going on "tell me what's wrong"

"I-I... Well I kind of have a crush on you..." he whispered "But now I get that I have no chance"

Among everything I was expecting to hear this was by far the last I thought of . Justin couldn't have a crush on me . We were just friends...

"Wh-why ?" I stuttered .

"Why ? You don't see yourself as others see you Aimee that's crazy how you don't" he smiled despite the obvious sadness he was feeling "You're nice to everyone, you're funny, you're pretty..."

"Wow umm... that's... really nice Justin...but you do understand that-"

"Don't worry I do" he chuckled "I just didn't realize you liked girls, but I'm absolutely fine with it that's just love, like who cares, you can love who you want, people don't have the right to judge, why do they judge though that's not their life, who cares ?"

He said all that without breathing making me smile so much . He was far from being homophobic, he was in fact the exact opposite .

"Well I'm glad you understand" I laughed making him laugh too "It feels good to hear this"

"You're welcome" he smile "And I'm not gonna lie it hurts a bit but I truly hope you find a nice girl"

"And I hope you find a nice girl yourself. Friends hug ?"

"Friends hug" he replied taking me in his arms .

After a long talk with Justin he left to go home leaving me alone in Ayla's house . I was still wearing last night dress and my mascara was probably making me look like a scary panda so I grabbed some wipes in my bag and tried to remove the black stains from under my eyes . Images of the night kept running through my mind as I looked at me in the mirror . She was here, her boyfriend was not and she asked me to stay with her for the night . How was I supposed not to fall for her again ? She was driving me crazy like she used to three years ago and I was way too weak to resist her . But I had too stay focus, she has a boyfriend, she doesn't like girls I kept saying to myself refraining every ounce of hope that could make me imagine something with her . She was unavailable and I had to accept it so I grabbed my bag, put on my vest and went to open the door but as I pressed the handle a soft voice said from behind me .

"Hi Aimee"

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