Still loving you

20. Rough night

All day has been about me avoiding her and her avoiding me but when at 3 in the morning an insomnia pulled me out of bed again I found her sitting on the couch reading a book leaving with no choice but to confront her .

"Hey..." I whispered in the silence of the night .

"Oh... hey" she gasped "You scared me..."

"Sorry... I guess that's what I do"

"What? What do you mean?" she put her book on the table and faced me laying on the back of the couch "Is it because of... because of what happened?"

What could I say, what could I do when the situation between us was so complicated, so weird? She was here right in front of me only a few meters keeping her away from me...

"Nevermind, it was nothing, nothing happened after all" I forced a smile but it felt so fake "We weren't thinking-"

"Straight"

Did she said that on purpose?

"Yeah that's it..." I dropped the smile "Anyway it doesn't matter, as I said it was nothing"

She looked at me her eyes scanning my face. I could feel her analysing me, searching for the thing that would give me away. But I was better at this game than anyone else .

"Yeah you're right, it was probably nothing" her voice was suddenly harsh and without saying more she went back to reading turning away from me her hair swinging on her back .

I stayed here in silence staring at the girl I was scared would never turn to me again . But what else could I say, she was the one who... she was the one who tried to kiss me, she started it... She started it but I didn't step back after all.
I finally took my eyes off her walking to the kitchen where I prepared a hot chocolate. I filled a cup with it and before going back upstairs I poured half my cup in an other one and put it on the table next to her paying attention not to met her green eyes .

_____

The day after

"Guys I swear it's the best place ever, they have the best cocktails" Dean was bragging about how he knew all the 'best places', places that were actually the best for getting waisted .

"I mean, yeah it could be fun" Justin who was always trying to please everybody couldn't say no to anyone and especially not to Dean . I don't even know he managed to get him to be his friend again but Justin seemed to have forget everything about the party .

"Great okay so let's go, come on!" Dean shouted putting on his leather jacket .

"Asshole" I whispered grabbing my bag. It was supposed to be a chill night in some nice bar in town but our dear Dean was apparently stronger than our projects .

"Where's my girl?" he asked like he was just looking for his keys.

"I'm here guys, wait for me"

As she climbed down the stairs, smiling, my first thought was about how fucking beautiful she was . She looked like out of a movie, she was a famous actress on her way to the oscars ceremony, everybody knows she'll win, everybody except her .

"Umm, are you really wearing this?" Dean asked startling me like Ayla's outfit was even debatable .

"I am... why?" her smile suddenly vanished as his words shot right at her self-confidence .

"Nothing" he huffed "Whatever, let's go"

I wanted to shout at him, to tell him to fuck off, to just shut up if his mouth was only able to get out crap like this but was it even worth it? He was born a jerk, he would die a jerk.