(im sorry if some of joseph's British dialogue is completely unintelligible)
also cw: this might be the most uncomfortable thing you read today so please, just read with caution.
Josed joster takes you inside his little home.
"JOSEPH!!!" a strained woman's voice called.
"OH GOED, ITS ME GRAN MUMMY!!" Joseph dropped you onto the floor, he was originally caring you bridal style into his home.\
You stood there patiently while joseph spoke to his grandma, you were a little awkward about it. you had originally planned to have the loudest, most obnoxious, sheet gripping, bed breaking, toe-curling, spine-shattering, house exploding, universe collapsing, homo\heterosexual sex with him. but now you can't because his grandma is here.
Joseph finally scrambled into the living room to you.
"okaey luv, me gran-mummy said we can do thee hanky panky, as long as we stay as quoiet as a sheeyp!!" He smiled, giving a thumbs up.
"But Joseph-" you started.
"whot? fancy a cuppa????" he raised an eyebrow.
You had no choice but to put on your big strong pants on and pull joseph by the collar, whispering into his ear.
"No, joseph. I want you to pound me so hard i have no choice but to go home by ambulance~" You purred. Joseph's toned tanned face turned bright red within seconds.
"good thing i watched fi-ty shades uh- grey, eh?" Joseph neighed like the british horse he his, and picked you up, carrying you to his room. he impatiently shut the door. You watched a quick orange spark leave the door knob.
"joesed, what was that?" you asked
"harmone"
"ok"
You pulled joseph into a sloppy kiss. while you two made out you couldn't help but to notice how he tastes VERY STRONGLY of..
you pulled away and smacked your lips several times.
"im getting...... english tea....and.." you smacked your lips some more.
"beans and bread..??" Joseph finished your sentence.
"No.. squid ink spaghetti??" You finished. Joseph laughed britishly. "yes. i luv squid ink spagettay, i slurp it all daey long" He smiled.
"im about to slurp something else all day long, joseph" You raised your eyebrows seductively.
"a-ight, be moy guest~" Joseph smirked, whiping his joestar cock out. It was so magical, when he revealed his joestar rod it illuminated your face while confetti rained down on you.
"gawd daym~" You didnt hesitate to take his entire length into your mouth all at once.
"OH GREAT HEAVENS" Joseph nearly shouted at the top of his lungs, cursing under his breath.
"ou fock~ yewr soe guud babey gurl~" You heard his british accent become even stronger. Joseph caught a hand full of your hair, gripping it tighty. it hurt like hell, but joseph joestar is so fine that it didn't matter. You swallowed and sucked with perfect precision. you were slobbering and growling, going feral on that man. Joseph tugged on your hair so hard that your entire hair came off in one chunk.
"ermm..." Joseph mumbled, looking down and the large portion of hair in his hands
Despite your new baldness, you didnt stop. Nothing was distracting you from giving this man the most golden head of his life.
"ouh god... i thenk im going to finish~" He panted harshly. you could feel him twitch in your mouth you knew he was close, also because he just said that he was. You quickly pulled away before you could stimulate him any further. You looked up at joseph, watching his eyebrows furrow.
"ayy, whot da hell was tha four?? i was practically arriving." he grumbled. You only shook your head. "Not yet big boy~" you cooed, getting up and starting to slowly strip.
"Its not as attractive when yew got uh big focking bald spot on ye head, yknowe..."
"that's your fault.." You and joseph got on his bed so you guys can have sex cus thats the entire point of this stupid ass story.
"Y/n, i want chew to ride mey~~" Joseph whined. You frowned,
"No, i want to get my back blown out by a big, sweaty, muscular man." You crossed your arms.
"ok." joseph PINNED you to the bed by surprise face down. In this moment, you realize that you might not come back from this. Your death may be caused by getting your guts rearranged by a 6'5 british boy. Finally joesph puts his jopenis inside you.
"BLIMEY!!!" Joseph moans out. You also cry out in pleasure, joseph fills you entirely without any problem.
Like expected, joesph absolutely MURDERS your insides. occasionally screaming out British phrases.
"FOCK THIS IS ONE BLODDY GOOD HOLE!~~" He groans, smashing himself deeper into you with every thrust. You suddenly whine out.
"Oh god! Joseph, I think I'm close!!" You burry your face into josephs crusty ass pillow. Joseph takes a sip of some tea and puts it back down on his coaster,
"yeah luv, me tew~" Joseph make a few final thrusts and then SPLOOGES INTO YO BABYCAVE
"AHH~ JOSEPH~"
"OHH~ CAESAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!" he moans so loud the windows shatter.
"SHUT THE HELL UP" you heard the neighbors shout, waking the both of you out of your euphoric trances. the two of you collapse entirely onto each other.
"wait... who is Caesar..?" You snap back and remember Joseph just moaned out an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT NAME."
"UHM..." he stammered. getting up off you and scratching his head.
"HES A.. I MEAN-"
"HE'S???"
"IVE GOT TEW GOE!!" Joseph then took off out of his room, with no pants on.
th enec.
