Primal Love

Chapter 1 - The end

It was summer. I was lazing around in my home, which I still shared with my mom. She hasn't been home as much lately because she has a new boyfriend. She likes spending time at his place so she doesn't sleep at home as much. I quite like it because it feels like I am living alone, which is what I have always wanted but never could afford. The only downside is that now I have to take care of our dog alone, which isn't that hard, but I hate waking up early in the mornings to take her out for a walk. But at least she is cute, so it isn't that hard to force myself.

I was just laying in my bed, scrolling through my phone and thinking about what I should do. I just graduated from university so I didn't really have anything that I had to do anymore, which was kind of weird. It was the first time in my life that I didn't have to look forward to anything and didn't have any specific plans or goals I had to reach. Honestly, it is quite a weird feeling. I always had school, then university, then a part-time job alongside university, then additional courses I took and I was always so busy that I never knew how it was just to wake up and not feel any obligations. And it felt quite nice. Waking up and going to sleep without any stress or worries felt wonderful. I think that we humans in our modern world have so many unnecessary worries and obligations and our world is much more complicated than it needs to be. Sometimes I just wish I had been born just a couple of centuries earlier when things were simpler.

I would have a house in a quiet small countryside village, have a small garden, and just live self-sufficiently. I am not stupid. Of course, I know that living in the old world was much harder than now. People didn't have the medicine and ways to heal themselves as we do now and for many people getting enough food to survive was hard. But I also believe that they had much fewer worries than we do. I would much rather worry about upkeeping my garden than about finding a job, going through university, finding a house for myself, and not having a breakdown every other week about what to do with my future. Maybe the problem is that we have too many choices to choose from and that is what makes it difficult.

Also relationships. I actually would like to be cared for and adored. I feel like courtship in our world has almost disappeared except for the rare almost-extinct few men that were still gentlemen. I am not saying I need flowers every day, actually, I don't even really like flowers, but it would be nice to be taken out to restaurants, be complimented, to be wanted fully and truly. But that is just a rarity these days. Nowadays men just want one thing and don't even want to see you again or talk to you even. What happened to spending your whole life together? I just want someone to want to spend the rest of their life with me and love me wholeheartedly. I know that it may be even stupid, because love doesn't last forever, since everyone eventually falls out of it, but a girl can only dream.

That is why I like reading romance novels in my free time. They are kind of my safe space and my way of escaping reality. The different worlds and experiences these novels offer me are the only bright light in my gloomy world. The romance in them isn't dead and they all have happy endings which makes me wonder if I will ever find one for myself. I mean, I am 22 years old and still haven't had a boyfriend. I mostly blame it on the fact that I had almost no boys in my class at high school, zero boys in my university class, and also no boys in dance class. I could never be bothered to sign up for any dating apps since they scared me and I found them too straightforward. And yes, some men hit on me when I went out with my friends to clubs, but I quite quickly understood that that also wouldn't work for me, since they only wanted one thing, but I wanted something more. I lost my first kiss being drunk in a club with a guy whose face I don't even remember, and I wasn't about to lose anything more than that in that way.

"Enough daydreaming" I decided and got up from my bed. I stretched and some of my bones cracked. I guess that is what you get for laying down in a weird position for hours. I picked up my phone and went on a hunt to get some food. I left my bedroom and went to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and sighed. It was empty. I guess that's another downfall when your mom isn't home as often anymore.

I checked my card balance on the phone and decided it would be better to go grocery shopping than ordering food since that would be cheaper and I didn't have as much money anymore. I quit my part-time job four months ago since I had to concentrate on finishing university and I felt that I couldn't keep up with both anymore. I had saved up quite a lot of money but it was disappearing quite fast.

I got ready. Threw on some jean shorts and a white-colored tank-top since it was summer and quite hot outside. I decided to take my dog with me to the store since then I wouldn't have to take her for a walk later separately. I threw on my white sneakers and woke up my dog from her nap and put her on a leash.

I grabbed my keys and my bag and left the apartment. 

I walked out of my apartment and turned onto the main street. The closest groceries shop was just a ten minutes walk away. I was walking slowly, enjoying the sunshine. Even though it was hot in the summer and I didn't really enjoy the heat, it was still nice to feel the sunshine on my face. My favorite season isn't summer, it is actually spring. It isn't too hot but it also isn't too cold. It is just right. And nature is also the most beautiful. The flowers, the trees, the animals, and even the earth itself are waking up and opening its eyes.

As I was walking I had to often stop since my dog had to sniff everything as always. Animals and their sniffing, I will never understand it. The walk to the shop took longer than expected because of the frequent stops so I got there in about 20 minutes. When I got to the shop I picked up my dog and put her in the cart. The fact that she is a small white Maltese comes in handy in these kinds of situations since I would be too concerned about her to leave her outside.

I bought simple things. I decided to make some pasta with cheese, my simplified version of mac and cheese. I also brought some fruits, such as apples and nectarines, which are my favorite. Then I went on to buy some chicken to cook later and some different salads. With all that I should be set for about 2-3 days.

I paid for my groceries and got my dog out of the cart. I started to walk home and think about what I should do next. I of course will first cook my dinner and eat, but how should I spend the rest of the evening? I probably should start thinking about getting a job soon. Even though I still had some money, I liked to be secure and always have extra. Ugh, even though I don't want to work yet and still have some time to rest, I guess I should really start looking.

With these thoughts in mind, Cleo was walking down the street when suddenly her dog broke off of the leash and started running away. Cleo yelped and ran after it. What she didn't notice while running was the car that swerved off the road and was coming right at her. At the last second, Cleo noticed the car but it was already too late. It hit her and she flew up in the air. Her just purchased groceries flew up with her and spilled everywhere. Everything went silent. And then chaos ensued. People who were passing by ran to help but it was already too late. Cleo was not breathing.