Unspoken

5 Hours Before

The front door swings open as I'm in the bathroom finishing up blow drying my hair and trying to apply my makeup at the same time. By some miracle I have picked out an outfit I feel confident in, hopefully, my hair and makeup get the same message and go my way tonight or my chances of getting in my car and driving to the concert will decrease even more. "Deeeelilahh" Lyd pushes open the door and I greet her with a smile. Her hair is frizzy from the humidity and I can tell she is slightly intoxicated but she still looks beautiful. Before I can respond Katie is right behind her blasting "Use Somebody" from her phone. Lyd wraps her arms around my waist and sways me back and forth as they both sing the lyrics to the song,

"...And all you know and how you speak

Countless lovers.."

My phone buzzes

"Undercover of the street"

I pick it up from the sink to read the message

I'm flying out tonight to see you

shit

I reread the message again, suddenly Katie and Lyd singing makes me nauseous and my body stiffens. Katie and Lyd seem to notice the shift in my mood, I hate how my body radiates how I'm feeling. They can't even see my face but Katie quickly turns off the music. I turn around to face them, "I need to call Chase, I'm going outside please don't make this a big deal" Before they have the chance to protest I step out on the porch and open my phone. 5:15, we have to leave the house soon of course he would do this at the worst time, not when I was staring out my window at some random woman running or when I was aimlessly scrolling through my phone, of course, he does this now when I was starting to get excited for this evening and forget about his texts from earlier. Taking a seat on the steps, I feel my hands start to sweat, and not because of how hot it is outside. I should have gone up into my room for this, I forgot how hot it is outside. I can't go back inside now. I know Katie and Lyd are waiting at the door for me to explain myself and we are running out of time, I still want to enjoy this night. I open our conversation which has been one-sided for the past week. I'm proud of myself that I don't scroll up to reread all the times I caved and answered him. Instead, I find myself putting my phone up to my ear and hearing it ring.

He answers on the first ring not even giving me enough time to think about what I want to say and how this conversation is going to go.

"Delilah thank god I have been so worried"

Is he serious right now? I explained to him what I wanted. I told him we cannot be in each other's lives anymore and that is how he answers the phone. This is going to be a frustrating conversation

"Chase what the fuck are you doing you are not seriously getting on a plane right now" I feel myself starting to shake I always shake when I'm angry and it makes me angrier that I'm still letting him pull out this much emotion from me.

"I need to see you in person we need to talk about everything, I hate this so much please Delilah"

I can hear the sadness in his voice and it fills me with more anger, he has no right feeling this way,

"No Chase stop with that bullshit I don't want to see you I don't want to keep doing this we need to stay out of each other lives this isn't healthy for either of us" Before he has time to respond I repeat myself "You are not getting on a plane right now" I know this is pointless I know nothing can stop him when he's made up his mind, we are alike in that way and it used to be something I loved about him. We used to make up our minds on the same things but now I have made up my mind that he cannot come to see me and he has made up my mind that he is going to. Only one of us can win this and I have a feeling I am not going to be the one that does.

"Fuck Delilah I don't care what you have texted me, this isn't you, I know this isn't you, my flight is tonight I got a hotel but I am still coming by to see you, I know in person it will be different"

"Fuck you, Chase"

I hang up the phone and feel my eyes start to water. No, I'm not crying again, I'm not doing this. My hands are shaking but before he can call me back I block his number. I know he is being serious. I know that when I get home tonight I am going to have to face him but right now I am not doing this. He was right about one thing: this isn't the Delilah he knows and I'm not turning back into that girl because of one little phone call and one not-so-little flight to Cincinnati.