Sonder: The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
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"I was doing just fine before I met you!"
"Really? Cause you fcking looked at me like you needed salvation Lillian! You needed me!"
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He bel...
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Play young and beautiful by Lana Del Rey
If you were given a chance to decide how you would dīe; what would you choose?—
Whatever it is I'd prefer a quick one.
Death; it's such an odd thing, but vaguely familiar. People die, it's unavoidable.
That's the whole reason why I am currently standing here, in front of my one and only friend's casket. I stood motionless as I gripped the strap of my sling bag; sobs of Katie's mother can be heard from the second floor as people stood and talked to each other. I finally raised my head from her casket and greet everyone's solemn expressions.
Katie had many friends— and I only had her. Spending most of her young life in the hospital didn't stop her from making friends; her enthusiasm for life was the most beautiful thing I have seen in a person and one of the things about her I've been jealous of; and the other thing would be is her death.
Death; what is it exactly? Would it be complete silence and oblivion? —or would it be peace and paradise?
I know what people would say if they hear these thoughts of mine— a hypocrite. "Why would you be jealous of the death of your best friend?", "Would you rather had taken her disease then?", "Why didn't you die instead of her?" , "Fucking weirdo."
I wouldn't be able to take her disease nor die for her stead; however— I did ask... If she wanted me to go with her. I asked Katie myself..
"Katie?"
"Hmm?" Mumbled the girl with tubes shackled down in her body.
Squeezing her pale hands I asked— "Do you want me to go with you?"
She lets out a ragged breath.
"I can do it.. I can go with you, so you won't be lonely. Who knows what death will be like. Aren't you scared? I don't want you to go alone."
Katie squeezed my hand with a lone tear on her cheek that day.
"You don't need to come with me this time." She says. " This time I want to go alone, you've been with me for 10 years; this time I need to be alone in this."
I let out a sob burying my head on her hospital bed.
—"besides, your sorry ass could never do it. I know you, you love your family, you love me; Don't you? That's why you'll never do it." —The sick girl let out another ragged breath as I wiped my tears. I let out a breath that's entirely different from my friend laying on her death bed- full of life.
"Yeah. I'm too scared to do shit" Katie let out a chuckle from my choice of word, I was never the one to say the profanities, its always been Katie.
