Trapeze Artist

Chapter 1-Accidental baby acquisition

Liu sat outside his van, poking the campfire with a stick. The flames illuminated everything around him, the trees, the ground, and the too-small baby curled in his lap, refusing to let go of his scarf.

Right. The kid. He forgot about the kid.

Shit.
Things just never go his way, do they?

.....

To start things off, Liu would just like to say that what happened was in no way whatsoever his fault. He'd been trying to go to Japan to pick up some intel, and then try and relax in Canada, but he still wasn't the best at using the Underrelms teleporting system so he ended up in Surry, England instead of Tokyo, Japan.

He figured 'eh, tracking the prime minister of Austria is more of a hobby, anyways', and hey, while he's here, might as well do some sightseeing. Nothing wrong with being a tourist every once in a while, right?

He'd been sitting in a local park enjoying the sun when a family walking past caught his eye. Well, they caught Sully's eye more than his, but he had to admit they looked like zoo animals.

The wife's neck was so long it would make a giraffe uncomfortable, and her husband looked like he was made of blubber. His mustache even looked like tusks. The toddler in the stroller looked like a pug that had way too many chub rolls to be healthy, and it's face was scrunched like a pig snout.

Liu could feel Sully clawing his way up from under his skin, a desire for blood and death coming with him. Images of the family flooded his mind, pulling the woman apart with his hands and then hanging her by barb wire, shoving the toddler in a wood chipper and then making the husband eat what came out the other end–'Alright, alright,' Liu thought, pulling on a metaphorical leash, 'we'll kill them, but not right now. There's way to many people.' Thankfully, Sully could see the sense in his thoughts, so he started to chill, but stayed just under the surface of his skin.

They watched the family from a distance, learning who their friends were and how many they had. The woman was a gossipy bitch, and the husband was some sort of petty conman who thought he was the next Di Vinci. And Liu didn't know what to think about the kid. On one hand, the kids attitude was the parents fault since the kid was only like, one and a half, but on the other hand the kid was practically the antichrist without magic.

Biting and kicking the smaller kids, taking and breaking their toys, then laughing when the other children cried, Liu was strongly reminded of the bullies that set his older brother on fire. Sully was just glad the kid was an asshole so Liu wouldn't feel bad about killing it. Eventually the family left, and Liu followed at a distance, both him and Sully noting the way to and from the house.

Number 4 Privet Drive was a cookie-cutter house in a cookie-cutter neighborhood. Every house had the same windowpanes, the same color door, the same colored roof, even the flowers in the front garden were the same. The same fence, the same patio, the same shapes and colors, It was all so symmetrical and perfect it was giving him a migraine. Sully wanted to burn the whole neighborhood down, and Liu had to agree. Perhaps it would teach the other townspeople a lesson, on what Liu couldn't be sure. Maybe individuality?

If they were going to burn the whole neighborhood down, they needed to start planning. Find out where the gas canisters were kept, how many each house had, taking them and pouring them in the correct places so everything would come down at once and leave no survivors, they needed to know it all. If they didn't plan, they could end up with another Jane, and no one wanted that.

But first, the Dursley's.

He could feel that Sully didn't want to wait, didn't want to plan, he wanted them gone the same way he sometimes wanted Jeff gone. Mindless violence, endless blood, and a starved desire for death. Now, looking back on it, Liu knew it would be incredibly stupid to let Sully go berserk with only one limit to what he could do to them, but for some reason, at the time, Liu decided to be very, very dumb.