Ecstasy

chapter 8

‗Javeria, give me Professor Imtinan's notes, will you?' Imama asked
Javeria who was studying. Javeria handed her a notebook which she
began to leaf through it. Javeria continued with her reading, but
suddenly turned to Imama, as if she had remembered something.
‗Why have you stopped taking notes during lectures?'
Imama looked up. ‗I would if I could understand them.'
‗What do you mean? You don't understand Prof. Imtinan's lectures?'
Javeria was surprised. ‗He's such a good teacher.'
‗Did I say he wasn't? It's just that...' Imama trailed off, distracted. She
turned back to the notebook. Javeria looked at her closely.
‗Aren't you getting absent-minded lately? Are you disturbed about
something?' She put away her book; her tone was caring.
‗Disturbed?' Imama muttered. ‗No...'
‗You have dark circles under your eyes. Last night-I think it was three
o'clock-when I woke up, you had not yet slept.'
‗I was studying,' Imama replied defensively.
‗No, you weren't. Your book was in front of you but your thoughts were
somewhere else. Is there a problem?'
‗What problem could there be?'
‗Then why have you become so quiet?' Javeria ignored Imama's
attempts to stall the conversation.
‗Now, why should I be at a loss for words?' Imama tried to smile. ‗I'm
as talkative as ever.'
‗It's not just me, but others too have noticed that you have been
disturbed,' Javeria said seriously.
‗It's nothing-just the usual tension because of studies.'
‗I don't believe you. After all we're all together-you cannot be any
more tense than us.' Javeria shook her head. Imama sighed-she was
getting fed up with this.
‗Is everything all right at home?'
‗Yes, absolutely fine.'
‗Have you quarreled with Asjad?' ‗Why would I quarrel with him?' Imama responded in the same tone.
‗But there can still be differences and...' Imama cut her off in mid-
sentence.
‗When I am telling you that there's no problem, why can't you believe
me? In all these years, what have I not shared with you or what do you
not know about me? Then why are you questioning me as if I were a
criminal?' Imama was losing her temper.
Javeria was confused. ‗Of course, I believe you. I thought you were
holding back because I might worry. That's all.'
Javeria, somewhat contrite, got up and went back to her table and
resumed reading her book. After some time she yawned and turned
towards Imama. She was sitting up, her back to the wall and notebook
in hand, but her eyes were fixed on the wall in front.
----------------------
He parked the car some distance away from the bridge across the canal.
He opened the boot and took out a sack and a length of rope and moved
towards the bridge, dragging the sack behind him. Some passersby saw
him but they did not stop. Once on the bridge, he pulled off his shirt and
flung it into the water-in a few moments the shirt was swept away by
the flow. His tall, athletic frame, clad in dark blue jeans, was a
handsome sight.
His eyes were inscrutable. He could have been anywhere between 19 to
20 years of age, but his height and appearance made him look much
older. Holding on to one end of the rope, he threw it over the bridge till
it hit the water. Then he started tightly winding and knotting the rope in
his hand around the mouth of the sack till he had used it all up. Now, he
pulled back the length of the rope, leaving aside about three feet;
standing with his feet together, he firmly tied them with this length.
Next, he made two loops with the remaining rope and hopped on to the
railing of the bridge, and then passing his hands through the loops
behind his back, he pulled the knots and tied up his hands too.
A smile of satisfaction hovered on his lips. Taking a deep breath, he
threw himself backwards over the bridge. His head hit the water
sharply and he was submerged to the waist, head down and hands tied
behind his back, dangling from the rope tied to the weighted sack above.
He held his breath and tried to keep his eyes open underwater, but the
canal was murky and the silt stung his eyes. He felt as if his lungs would
burst and when he breathed in, the water entered his body through his
nose and mouth. He began to flap about helplessly-he tried but could not use his arms to raise himself up from the water. Gradually, his
movements slowed.
Some people who had seen him jump off the bridge, ran to the railing,
shouting. The rope was still shaking. They did not know what to do-
there was no visible movement under the water; his legs appeared to be
still. A crowd gathered, looking with fear at the lifeless body: the water
swung him like a pendulum, back and forth...back and forth...back
and forth.
--------------------------
‗Imama, get ready quickly!' called Rabia, taking her clothes from the
closet and flinging them on the bed.
‗Get ready? What for?' Imama looked at her, surprised.
‗We're going shopping. Come with us.' Rabia moved fast as she ironed
her clothes.
‗No, thanks. I don't want to go anywhere.' Imama lay back on her
pillow, her forearm shielding her eyes.
‗What do you mean by ―I don't want to go anywhere‖? Who's asking
you, anyway? I'm telling you,' Rabia continued in the same tone.
‗And I'm telling you that I am not going,' replied Imama without
moving.
‗Zainab's coming too-the whole group is going-and we'll go to the
movies when we are done shopping.'
Imama looked up. ‗Zainab's coming along?'
‗Yes, we'll pick her up on the way.' Imama became thoughtful.
‗You are getting duller by the day, Imama!' Rabia's tone was piqued.
‗You've stopped going out with us; what on earth is happening to you?'
‗Nothing. I am just too tired today and want to sleep,' Imama said,
looking at Rabia.
After a while Javeria came in and she too tried to persuade Imama, but
there was just one refrain from her: ‗I am too tired, I want to sleep.'
Unable to coax Imama outdoors, the girls grumbled as they left her
behind.
As they picked up Zainab on the way, Javeria realized that she had left
her wallet behind in the hostel. ‗We'll have to go back for my wallet,'
said Javeria. When they got to the hostel they were shocked to find the
room locked.
‗Where's Imama?' Rabia was surprised.
‗Don't know...where could she have gone, locking up the room like
this? She'd said she wanted to sleep,' said Javeria.
‗Could she be in someone else's room?' wondered Rabia. For the next
few minutes, they looked for Imama in their friends' rooms, but there
was no sign of her.
‗Could she have gone out?' A sudden thought struck Rabia.
‗Let's check with the warden,' said Javeria, and they went to see him.
‗Yes, Imama went out a while ago,' the warden confirmed. Rabia and
Javeria exchanged looks, speechless. ‗She said she'd return by the
evening,' the warden informed them.
They came out of the warden's room. ‗Where could she have gone? She
refused to accompany us saying she was tired...she wanted to sleep...
was unwell...and then she goes off like this.' Rabia was really annoyed.
It was quite late at night when they returned. Imama was in the room
and welcomed them back, smiling.
‗Looks like you've done loads of shopping,' she said, looking at their
bags and parcels. They did not reply-putting down their shopping,
they stared at her.
‗Where were you?' asked Javeria. Imama got a jolt. ‗I came back to get
my wallet and you weren't here. The room was locked.'
‗I went after you both.'
‗What do you mean?'
‗I changed my mind when you left, so I went to Zainab's as you were
going to pick her up. But her chowkidar said that she had left with you,
so I came back. I just stopped on the way to get some books,' explained
Imama.
‗See-we'd told you to come along but you refused. Then, like a fool,
you traipse behind us. We were getting suspicious about you,' said
Rabia as she took her purchases out of their bags. She seemed relieved.
Imama did not reply: she just smiled at them when they showed her
their shopping.
....................................