Poetry Book

Thinking

You know, I may not seem like I have problems, but i do.
I may seem like everything is fine and that I'm happy but I'm not.
I may smile and laugh and joke around but when I'm alone I literally break down.
I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking
Of what is,
What could've been
And what should've been
My mind likes to torture itself
By replaying memories of my past
I've had a lot of things happen to me
And the effects seem to last
My scars never quite fade
My heart never heals
My mind never stops thinking
I stay awake at night
Letting insomnia control me
Because staying awake and feeling pain continuously
Is better then feeling happy when dreaming
And waking up to breaking.