You were reading your adorable girlfriend Eleven the story of Alice in Wonderland out loud from a picture book when she said something completely random. “Y/n?” She asked out of nowhere. “Why does Dustin say shit so much? And Max? And everyone. What does it actually mean?”
You had to think about that for a moment. You supposed that she was used to hearing swearing all the time, considering the people she hung out with, including yourself, but you doubted if anyone, even her ex Mike, had ever sat down and explained what cursing was. “Okay,” you set down the book and turned so that you were facing her. “So basically there is this thing called swearing.” She nodded, her eyes big, hanging on to every word that you said. “Some people call it cursing, some call it cussing, or if you want to sound fancy, you can call it using profanity.” “Profanity,” she repeated to herself. “Yep,” you nodded along, “and so what it basically is, is using a group of certain words that are deemed ‘foul’ by society.” “Foul?”
“Bad, inappropriate. And everybody does it at some point. Lots of people will use curse words when something bad happens. Like if you forgot your textbook at home, you might say ‘damn it! I forgot my textbook!’” You snapped your fingers for emphasis. “Damn it,” she repeated. “Yeah. But it doesn’t have to be bad.” “No?” “Nope. Not at all. You can swear to appreciate how good something is. Like I would say, my girlfriend El is ‘hella hot!’” “What does...that mean?” “It means you are really pretty.” She blushed, “you are hella hot too, y/n.” You grinned, “Thanks.” She nodded. “And there’s a lot of different swear words. I’ll bet Hopper says quite a few.” El nodded, “like fuck?” And the innocent expression on her face as she said that was just priceless. You snorted, “Um, yeah yeah. That’s a...more...foul word, and you probably shouldn’t say that around Hopper, even if he says it around you.” The corners of her lips turned up, “okay. What does it mean?” “Well, it’s kind of multipurpose,” you said, and noticing her confused expression, added “like, you can use it for different things. You say it as an expression, like damn it, or to add emphasis, like hella. Or, it means having sex.” “Sex?” Her eyes widened.
”Uh yeah, you know. Hopper told you about that right?” You were blushing like mad, hoping you wouldn’t have to be the one to explain it to your girlfriend. She might get the wrong idea, and be traumatized for life. But to your relief, she blushed and said, “yes. Hopper sweared a lot when we talked about that.” “Swore,” you gently corrected her. “Swore,” she repeated, smiling. “Anyways, so that’s what that means. Any questions?” She nodded. “Is bitchin’ a swear?” You laughed, knowing how much she loved the phrase, “yes. Bitchin’ comes from the word bitch, which is a swear word.” “What does it mean?” “Well, uh, a female dog is called a bitch. And because she’s aggressive and protective of her babies, people started using the term to describe girls who acted like that. It’s kind of derogatory, but,” you shrugged, “Saying bitchin’ isn’t.” “What is-“ Eleven started but you cut off her, “Derogatory?” She nodded. “It’s like, offensive, or bad to say to someone because it’s disrespectful. So if a boy or another girl calls a girl a bitch it isn’t a good thing.” “But bitchin’ is good?” El wanted to confirm. “Yes. That’s like saying hella hot.” Eleven nodded, “y/n, am I a bitch?” “No! Why would you ever think that, El? You are wonderful, not a bitch at all.” “Well, I- I’ve hurt people. And I dumped Mike, and…” she trailed off. “No, no,” you said to her. “Please don’t worry, El. You aren’t a bitch. You only hurt people because you had to, and just because Mike was being a douche and you had to dump his ass doesn’t mean that you’re a bitch. So don’t go around thinking of yourself like one, because I love you so so much.” You froze. You hadn’t meant to say that. It just slipped off your tongue. El smiled shyly, taking your hands in her own.
“Y/n?” She waited for you to make eye contact with her. “I love you too.”
Your heart felt overwhelmingly happy as she put her hands on your face and pulled you in for a sweet kiss. “I think your bitchin,” she grinned and pecked your cheek.
