John Lennon walks into the bar where Vlad SlickBartender works. He orders a Rusty Nail from Vlad SlickBartender. They call him Slick because that's how he likes his dick. Vlad emerges from the back room (sex dungeon) and greets John with his trademark smile (see picture for reference). John immediately notices that Vlad is not a qualified bartender and is instead a sex offender who is using his bar as a front for his sex dungeon. This could, in theory, lead to Vlad getting arrested for sex crimes, but Vlad periodically provides the police force with sexual favours and prisoners from his dungeon. A scream is heard from within the sex dungeon; it is Sylvester Stallone, world famous movie star. Stallone screams his famous one liner, which cannot be translated at this time. The bar breaks out into applause
"Give this man an Oscar", shouts the drunkard in the corner.
Sylvester is swiftly penetrated by Vlad's enormous cock. The patrons try to escape, but Vlad's enormous cock and his bouncy balls form a tag team, the likes of which we've never seen before, to stop the victims from escaping. Some of the smaller patrons, like Hasbullah and Warwick Davis are absorbed into the cock and will later be turned into semen. John Lennon, using the power of song, momentarily lifts up Vlad's bouncy balls, now bubbling with cum after the consumption of the small people, in order to free the patrons. One unlucky soul is crushed by Vlad's cock after the power of John Lennon's hit single, Imagine, is no longer able to keep Vlad's balls off of the ground. After the power of his music is not enough to defeat the dynamic duo of Vlad SlickBartender's cock and balls, John calls up his friend's in the industry to form the New Beatles. He calls the likes of Shaggy, Pitbull, Ringo Starr and Paul Wall, who unfortunately couldn't make it due to a dental appointment. Everyone, apart from Paul, comes to John Lennon's aid. The power of their music is not enough to subdue the gargantuan beast, akin to the dragon from Lord of the Flies. Even Shaggy doing a once in a lifetime performance of his hit single, Mr Boombastic (Dubstep Remix), is not enough. Vlad's cock is too huge and veiny to be destroyed by the power of song.
Out of nowhere, however, Sylvester Stallone, Grammy nominated actor, breaks free from one of the many cum traps in the sex dungeon. He makes like a nose and runs towards Vlad's beastly balls and colossal cock, wearing only his boxing gloves from the hit film Rocky III. Using the power bestowed upon him by Allah, he beats up Vlad's cock and balls, like he did to that one Russian fella
in one of the Rocky movies.
"NOOOOOO", screams Vlad, "MY ONE WEAKNESS: COCK AND BALL TORTURE."
Vlad's cock grows flaccid and retreats back into Vlad's stomach to regain health. Luckily for Vlad, he comes (cums) prepared. He whips out a rocket launcher.
Before he fires he says, "How To Make a Moscow Mule Cocktail at Home | Pro | Expert"
This line instilled fear into the group, Ringo in particular, who shat himself to death (stinky).
The bar then blew up, with Vlad and John both being protected by their enormous bumholes, which absorbed all of the debris. After a quick water break, like they do in boxing (paying tribute to Sylvester Stallone, RIP legend), the two legends were ready to duke it out, one on one in the main event of Wrestlemania, with special guest referee John Cena. The two immediately started a sword fight of sorts, but instead of swords they used their willies. It was evenly matched, with John's being hard but short and Vlad's being long but soft as he was still suffering from the injuries sustained earlier in the story. Because of the even match in the first round, the two are put into a rap battle against each other, hosted by the team over at Epic Rap Battles Of Literature. We couldn't afford Epic Rap Battles of History. They were also too busy filming Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader Pt. 4. Vlad was coached by Eminem so easily entrapped John in his rhymes. But John had a trick up his sleeve. A minigun. He mowed down every single person in the arena, apart from John Cena, who announced that John Lennon had won the match and was the WWE Champion.
The End.....or is it?
