My Life With Fibromyalgia

Maybe Tomorrow

Dear Self,

I know it hurts. Somedays it hurts so bad you want it to stop. For everything to stop.

But it won't. And you know that.

Somedays are better than others, but it never ends.

The pain - it's always present. So what can you do?

Do you give up? Do you quit, and let the pain consume you?

Or do you take it day by day - hour by hour if you need to.

Do you say "Okay, today is not too bad", or "Today is bearable", and do what you can. Prioritize what you must; and, if necessary, leave the rest.

Or do you say "Not Today" and conserve your energy. Let your body take the lead. Rest when you must.

Never give up. Remember that tomorrow might be better. Might even be a "good" day.

One of those rare, miraculous days when you feel almost human again. When the world doesn't seem so bad.

It won't last. You know that. You might not see it again for months, or years. But eventually it will be there.

I know some days you move around in a fog. Thoughts lost, almost before they are formed.

Words elude you. You know what you want to say. But how to express yourself when your tongue and brain do not work in harmony.

Items misplaced. Odd shoes worn.

The fridge suddenly a repository for the strangest things.

Grabbing a glass or cup, only to realize, halfway to another room, that you are carrying the electric jug.

Ah yes. The fun of Fibromyalgia. On good (or not so bad) days you can laugh. At yourself. At the foolish things that happen when mind and body work against each other.

But you go on. You just keep on keeping on. Hoping this is a temporary abhorration . And it shall pass. A little afraid it won't. But hoping. Always hoping. That tomorrow will be better.

I know it's hard. Sometimes it seems overwhelming. Your body in a permanent state of exhaustion. Sleeping is not a problem - staying awake is. But, even with all that sleep, you are still bone tired. Drained. And barely able to function. Like you haven't slept for a week. Simply running on fumes.

Dear Self, I know it's hard. And tomorrow may not be a better day. In fact, it may be worse. But it will still be another day. And you will get through it too.

You are strong enough. You may not believe it - but you are. And when you look back, you will see that those new days have added up to months and years.

This may not be the life you want; the life you envisioned living. But it is YOUR life. And as such, is unique and beautiful. Just like you.

So embrace the uncertain, perhaps unwelcoming, tomorrow; for they will soon be your yesterdays.

And who knows, maybe tomorrow will be a better day.