Midnight Kiss: Joseph Sugg Fanfic

18

Everyone's started to arrive and Zoe and I have cooked an amazing dinner.
"Everyone! Please sit around the table I have some news!" I yelled through the house.
After my yelling everyone took a seat at the table and I stood up.
"no one knows this news except for Zoe. She is even more excited as I am and before I say it I need to warn you all. Joe nor Alfie know and if they act weirdly just remember they have no idea what I'm about to tell you all." I said looking at Joe and he had a confused look on his face.
I took a deep breath and looked at everyone before I told them the news.
"Go on Jem, you can do it" Zoe smiled.
I dragged Zoe up next to me and smiled at everyone.
"I'm pregnant" I smiled and you could hear a pin drop.
Joe was the first to stand up and he walked out the back door.
"I'll be back" I whisper to Zoe.
"I'm coming with" she replies and we follow Joe into the brisk air of England.
We scan the surroundings looking carefully for any trace of Joe. Did he leave through the side gate? No he couldn't have.
What if he leaves me because I'm pregnant with his child. He can't do that to me after what I, what's we, went through.
May many what's if's started flowing into my mind and each heart braking one I shed a new tear.
"Stay strong, you can do this" I whisper to myself.
The thoughts kept replaying in my mind and I walked over the glass sliding door and rested my back against it. My legs were giving in on me with every breath I took so I sank to the floor with my back remaining on the glass, banging my head in frustration and emptiness.
"What are you doing Jemima?" Someone asks but I'm to terrified to answer them.
I close my eyes and let the haunting words eat away at my brain. As the words got worse and worse I let out stifled sobs and try and hold in the emotions.
"Jemima" a voice says.
"What?" I sob banging my head against the glass again.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm fucking doing?" I asked snapping back at them.
I was an emotional wreck all over again. I stood up and balanced myself, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
"Where are you going?" The voice said.
"Somewhere" I say viciously.
I slide open the door and shut it behind me. Even though all of the people that care about me are sitting in the room I'm about to walk into I don't give two fucks. I take a step and continued to let the tears fall, each heartbreaking what if coming into mind.
"Jemima?" I heard a few people say but I swat them away.
"Where are you going?" Jim asked once I look at him.
"Somewhere" I reply giving the rest of the people haunting stares but under all the hate that I was somewhat receiving I was shattering.
I walked to the front door and pulled on my over sized coat and slips on combat boots. People were trying to stop me but I blocked them out, opening the door and slipping away. My safe spot. The beach. I go there if I am having any problem whatsoever and let the sea wipe my memory fresh clean. I stood on the first set of pebbles and felt them slide under my foot, with a slight crunch. Continuing to make my way closer to the ocean I can feel the ting of salt water on my lips. I could taste the cold air, I could feel happy. This is my safe place, this is where I belong. One thing about this place that I'd never doubt is that it is very empty most of the time, I occupy myself by taking a seat on the slightly moist pebbles and start playing with my fingers, I lay back and try and forget all of the faults but my safe place doesn't work. I can still memorise what if's like the back of my hand. I cry looking up at the stars and place my delicate hands on my stomach.
What if he leaves you for some slut bag who wears a face of makeup?
What if he dumps you like he didn't even care in the first place?
What if he never speaks to you again and you have to raise the child on your own?
What if you put all of this to an end and kill yourself right here, right now?
What if he doesn't care about you committing suicide and doesn't even try and stop you?
What if...
What if...
What if...
All of these taunting things made me cry, not of sadness but of anger. My fumes were going high and I stood up running away from the sea and to the closest thing I could punch. I saw a tree in the distance and ran all the way and over and swung my knuckles into it leaving the slightest dint in its bark.
"This is for having no control of your thoughts" I says punching the tree.
"This is for actually believing he loved you" punch.
"This is for actually loving him in return and never going to let that feeling go" I said as I fumed.
The trees bark was slowly starting to peel of so I punched it even harder and faster. Each blow another tear came down my cheeks because of the what if's. I let them get to me. I stopped punching the tree and slouched down looking at my knuckles. They were a deep crimson red with pieces of wood sticking out of them. I couldn't feel my knuckles because the anger took over the pain. My fingers came numb as I sat down resting my head against the tree. Why is life so fucking hard. My phone vibrated in my pocket so I fumbled around and read a text from Zoe.
Where did you go? I'm worried sick about you, please tell your okay. I can't think of losing you again. Xx
I didn't bother replying and let my eyes droop slowly until I was taken by the black obis of sleep. I woke up about 1ish hours later and decided I'd stressed myself too much. I stood up and looked at the tree I had punched earlier. The picture reminded in my head forcing me to punch it again and I did exactly that. My knuckles began bleeding again so I left it there walking back to the house. I looked at my phone and had 423 missed calls and 237 texts. I sighed and read through some of them until I reached the house. I turned the knob and squinted my eyes in pain. The door swung open creaking slightly so I ducked inside. The door creaked shut and I hobbled into the living room lazily only to get greeted by all of the people I snapped at before I left. Joe was there and had his head in his hands supposedly crying. He started whispered to himself saying he was a jerk and shouldn't have left, he needed space and he wanted the child as much as I did. No one has noticed my arrival so I kicked off my shoes quietly and placed them at the front door.
"Okay guys, I'll try and ring Jemima again" Jim said unlocking his phone.
Well now they're gonna now I'm standing in the kitchen. He holds the phone up to his ear and I curse under my breath as mine stars ringing from my pocket. I quickly pull it out and answer the call.
"Jemima?" Jim asks worried.
"Yeah" I whisper.
"Why are you whispering?" He said.
"I can" I said normally and that got the attention of everyone except Joe.
"Your back!" Zoe yelled jumping up and hugging me, accidentally hitting my knuckles.
I wince in pain and Zoe pulls away and looks at my hand. She drags me into the kitchen and shuts the door.
"What did you do?" She asked with a hint of fear in her eyes.
"Punched a tree" I said staring at her.
"And how many times did you do that?" She asked.
"Bout 20 times" I said sheepishly digging the front of my toe into the ground and looking down with shame.
"It's not good on the baby" she said.
"How can I help it? Joe ran away" I cried.
"No he didn't" she said defending him.
"What did he do then?! He walked outside" I choked.
"I was looking for him and when I found him I turned around and you were gone. Joe had the biggest smile on his face I've ever seen and you abandoned him. He didn't abandon you, twat" she spat back forcefully.
I looked at her in horror.
"I'm not a twat!" I yelled back walking over and opening the door the the living room and walking out with her behind me.
"You just left my brother!" She yelled back and I looked around at the blank expressions.
"I thought he hated my guts!" I cried back and this got Joes attention because he eyes shot straight up and looked at me.
I turned back to Zoe waiting for her to come and say something insulting which is just what she did.
"What you thought was wrong, bitch!" She yelled.
I looked into her eyes and they were filled with guilt but her mouth kept moving and she couldn't stop it. I've done it before but the words still affected me.
"It's not my fault I'm sitting here crying my eyes out because I thought the wrong thing. Mal's walked out on me so Amy time before so it's my first instinct" I hiss back.
Now the sad years were being replaced with angry ones.
"Someone tell her she needs to learn about relationships" Zoe said and covered her mouth right after she did.
Her mind was telling her to say those things and her heart wasn't, I know that feeling.
"I don't need your advice Zoe" I said, fumes burning with my face glowing a dark red.
"Awe I think you do" she cooed looking into my eye and I saw the fear and guilt in them.
"Someone hold me back before I lash out, I know what's happening" I yelled everyone and Marcus gets up and holds my arms behind my back. "may need two people" I said. "And what he'd out for your balls if I start squirming"
Jim stood up and Jake stood there paralyse with the boys holding me back so I don't lash out.
"She needs help to stop her anger issues getting worse, boo hoo" Zoe said with her voice mildly swarming with guilt.
"I can let loose in any minute Zo, I could do anything I can to get to you right now and show you how much your hurting me but I can't, your the friend I need in my life" I said moving my arms trying to jiggle out of the situation but the boys grip gets tighter.
"Now she's giving a speech about how she needs me in her life. How adorable" she says"not" she whispered under her breath.
"Zoe, with one swing I can get out of this and knock you off your feet and dint even question that" I warned. "I know what's happening as it's happened to me before. Emotions get all built inside of you and it turns into some fiery fuming bomb ready to let go any second."
"I'm not guilty" she scowls. "I'm just getting started to hate your guts"
"Boys, off" I say to them but they lock my grip harder. "I know what's going to happen next and if you don't listen to me things won't get pretty"
All of the people around the room are paralysed beside Marcus, Alfie and Jim so it was me against Zoe.
"Please off" I demand.
They suddenly let go off me when I feel a slight tingling sensation on my nose. Zoe just blew a fucking punch at me. The next one came flying in at an incredible speed but I mange to catch it and grab both of Zoe's hands.
"Listen" I say.
"Get off me" she squirms.
"No" I say, "listen"
"Okay" she grunts.
"Your emotions have been building up lately and you have not exposed them properly so your having a rage. Your taking it out on the person that crosses the line the slightest and it was me. I know what it's like being through shut like this that's why I fumed and punched the tree. Look at where it's gotten me now, bleeding knuckles. You've just given me a bleeding nose. Seeing me hurt like this is the most unsatisfying thing you've down and in your eyes your regretting every single word you say. Your mind is telling you to push me off right now and continue bowling punches at me and your heart is the exact opposite. Follow what you think is best, just remember it's our friendship that's on the line" I said and her face softens and she gives a week smile.
A lot of drama in a few hours.