Why is the ceiling blue? I wonder when I wake up in a bed that isn't Violence's or Depression's.
I turn my head to look out the window, the previous night feeling like a nightmare. A brick wall meets my tired, dazed stare. I furrow my brows and lick my lips, turning my head to the other side. Dark blue eyes startle me. I let out a little gasp and Doubt smiles softly.
"Sorry," He says. "I just think people can look so beautiful when they sleep. Completely unaware and so soft looking. Void of stress and depression."
Stress, he'd said. I liked that. Maybe I should have called him that instead.
"Can I stay with you today?" I managed to mumble.
"Of course." He said without hesitation, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
In that moment, I realized how much I needed to hold someone, and so I snuggled against him.
I decided I'd talk today. So I asked Doubt, "Did we fuck?"
He shook his head. "You just needed some sleep. Time away from those boys."
Depression would be sober by this time, and probably worried, unless he'd left with the blonde before Violence had come for him.
Memories from last night began playing through my head, and tears pooled in my eyes again.
I hadn't had either of them last night. Depression was drinking away his pain and Violence was buried deep in the pussy of some girl who was better than me in every way.
All I'd had was sadness....
And then Doubt.
"Thank you." I croaked, my voice still raspy from screaming. A hot tear dripped down my cheek.
He said nothing, and we laid like that for a long time. Silent.
His apartment had a balcony, and I could see raindrops dripping onto the sliding glass doors.
"I don't want them to find me. Not yet." I finally whispered after nearly an hour.
I loved the comfortable and familiar embrace of Depression, and I loved Violence's rough hands and soft heart.
But they needed me.
More than I needed them.
"They won't. Not until you're ready." Doubt said, gently stroking my tangled hair.
Would I ever be ready to let Depression and Violence hurt me again?
YOU ARE READING
Depression.
Teen Fiction➳ " I called him 'Depression' because he was the living, breathing definition of the very word. " ➳
