Depression.

f o u r

*LAST CHAPTER WAS DELETED BECAUSE IT WAS WEIRD AF

                                                                        f o u r

I returned to Violence's room with wet hair, clutching a towel to my chest. I ruffled through my drawer of his dresser and pulled out some panties and a bra. I moved towards the window, staring out at the sky as I dropped the towel.

        I pulled on the lacy white underwear, the heat of the sun warming my skin. I slid my arms through the straps of my bra and clasped the back, leaning lazily against the wall to stare out at the ocean just past the parking lot.

        Hands were suddenly grasping my bruised hips and Violence's lips brushed against my ear. "You're beautiful."

        His fingers toyed with the lace on the hip of the silk underwear as I leaned my head against his chest. His skin was smooth and warm against my back and he'd pulled on a pair of boxers without me hearing. He bowed his head to kiss along the curve of my shoulder, moving slowly towards my pulse.

        He caught my jaw in one hand to tilt my head to the side, exposing my delicate skin. I sighed, enjoying the roughness of his touch.

        "It seems you only speak to me when my lips are on your skin." He murmured, his free hand gliding up the curve of my waist. "And even then it's only to moan your pleasure, barely louder than the mews of a kitten."

        I didn't answer, distracted by the way his fingers squeezed my breast through my bra.

        "And why?" His tone darkened, his hold tightening. "So that my brother doesn't hear me fuck you?"

        I gasped when his other hand slid lower, around my throat.

        "Vi," I said, alarmed.

        "Talk." He pleaded, burying his face in my neck. His hands dropped to wrap around my waist. "I want to know what you're thinking when I touch you. I want to know how you feel."

        I hesitated, dazed and confused.

        "I feel . . . everything." I breathed. "I feel the bruises you leave on my hips when we fuck. I feel your muscles tighten when you're close. I feel your breath on my skin when your panting. I feel your I feel your teeth when you bite my chin and god, I fucking love it." I turned to look him directly in the eyes. "I fucking love you, Violence. But when you touch me, I can't decide if I want to flinch or let you. "

        He recoiled. "I know it will take time for you to be okay around me, but I want you to know I won't hurt you anymore." He moved to stand beside me and then leaned against the opposite wall, next to the window.

        "Say you believe me." He said, his face bathed in shadow.

        I hesitated as I stared at him, eyes flickering to the window.

        Did I believe him?

        No.

        Violence would always hurt me. With his memories, his words, or his hands.

        "I love you." I said again, instead.

        And I did.