in safe hands ° sungtaro

two

"god! it took you so long!" exclaimed chenle, who was standing in the middle of the kitchen armed with a knife and a frying pan, as soon as mark made his dramatic entrance through the curtain of black smoke. "we have a problem to solve here!"

"It's not god, it's me, mark," pointed mark out, blinking. he doubted chenle could see him clearly through the smoke, so he felt the need to clarify. the source of the problem wasn't hard to notice. the toaster, which someone had placed in a washbasin, was on fire. "and the problem's this, i suppose?"

chenle barely spared the toaster a glance. "ah, that. that's jisung's solution to yesterday's problem."

a shadowy figure, which vaguely resembled park jisung, emerged from under the kitchen table, dragging the tablecloth after itself. "you call it a problem. i call it a solution."

before the mortified mark could react, renjun, who was sitting on the only chair that could be found in the whole damn kitchen with the expression of an enraged capibara, smacked jisung on the forehead. jisung lost balance and fell back under the table, his legs flying into the air.

"you shut up, park! if lele and you had for once made use of the one fuckin' braincell you share, we wouldn't have a fuckin' today problem."

"I REFUSE TO TOLERATE WHOEVER THE HELL SWEARS IN OUR MOTHERFUCKIN' HOUSEHOLD— "

mark spun around just in time to see the same bowl of spaghetti he had recently stepped into fly above his head and hit renjun square in the face, sending him under the table after jisung.

"FUCK YOU, DONGHYUCK," renjun roared, clutching his bleeding nose.

"it's more of him fucking you, i think," remarked chenle dispassionately and continued stabbing the toaster with the knife, presumably, mark realized in horror, to quench the fire.

"oh fuck you, lele!"

"ew. no, thanks."

"love-hate dynamics turn renjun on," purred jaemin, strolling into the kitchen dressed only in pink, banana-print boxers and carrying a banana. "although his and hyuck's is more of a hate-hate one."

"it does not matter who fucks who," jeno's frighteningly serene voice sounded from the living room. "what matters is that we have a super fucked-up situation, and we need mark-hyung's help."

mark stared dumbly at the scene in front of him. he knew he was the oldest one and was supposed to be the responsible one. he knew he should take controll of the situation.

"where, guys, is your fridge, by the way?" blurted he out intelligently after a long silence.

donghyuck's eye twitched. chenle avoided mark's pleading gaze. jisung's legs disappeared under the table. renjun stopped chewing donghyuck's carbonara.

that is when mark knew he was in for a long day.

a/n:

i bet this is actually happening in the dreamies' dorm