I'll Catch You

Chapter 6

The news that the baby she was carrying was indeed Opie's was a relief and a burden all at the same painfully confusing time. She dragged her feet back to her car with two little black and white photos of a barely humanoid looking blob in her hand. Sitting in the empty parking lot her sputtered sobs were the only thing she could hear. She needed to let it out and talk to someone, anyone, but Mae was at a loss. She didn't have anyone aside from Opie.

Mae went home. She went straight home and, with the ultrasound pictures spread out on the counter, she called the only person she knew was in her position before.

"Hey Karen."

"I wish you'd start calling me mom." Her birth mother said sadly over the phone.

"Yeah, sorry, it's just kind of weird. Look, I can get into the whole catchup game later but I really need your advice."

There was a sense of urgency in her voice that Karen had never heard. "Are you okay?"

"Well, yes but no." Mae laughed a little. "Why didn't you have an abortion? What made you decide to give me up?"

"Oh," Karen's forehead wrinkled as she thought back on that the decision. "I was young, Maelynn." There was a wistful tone to her words. "Your father was not the kind of man to be raising a child, at all, but I just couldn't have the procedure." Hesitating, knowing her view was uncommon, Karen tried to find a inoffensive way to explain it. "I believed, I still believe, that whatever you call it; fetus, baby, a lump of cells, it's still a baby. You were a person and I couldn't do it but I also couldn't raise you."

The words were crushing. Mae too felt that way, especially knowing how lucky she was to have been given up than never born at all. "I'm pregnant." She admittedly. Saying those two words aloud brought her world crashing down around her and Mae began to cry. "I can't do it though. I can't, Karen. I never had a mom, I don't know how to be a mom and I'm so far from mentally stable right now I just...I can't."

"Oh Mae." Karen sighed. "Sweetheart, I know it's scary, I've been you, but with much less going for me."

"You don't understand," her voice cracked. "I was raped, the baby isn't a product of that, but I can barely sleep without nightmares, the doctor makes me sick just thinking about it, I can't have a baby and I don't think I can even be pregnant."

Karen and Mae barely spoke but kept in touch since Mae went searching for her birth mother many years before. The distance, the minuscule relationship they had, didn't make Karen love her daughter any less though. "I had no idea, Mae, I am so sorry," now mother and daughter were both crying.

"I didn't tell anyone really, except my boyfriend, people know how here but I kept it quiet."

"The baby, it's your boyfriend's?"

Boyfriend sounded so strange. Opie was far from a boy, in every sense, but what was she meant to call him? "Yeah. He's a good man, he's a hard worker and he loves me," Mae left quite a few details out, "But I can't."

"You can, I know you can but you have to be the one to decide. All I can tell you to do Maelynn is talk to him. It's your decision, ultimately you make the call, but that baby is his too. You made a child together and you have to at least hear him out."

--

"Hey babe." Opie stomped into Mae's, presentable and looking freshly showered, with a coy little smile. "You look nice."

Mae smiled and greeted him with a tiny peck of a kiss. "Thank you, you cleaned up well."

"Mae," catching her wrist Opie spun her around toward him to examine her face. "What's wrong?" He asked earnestly.

"What?" She laughed. "Nothing. I'm fine."

He didn't believe her her but Opie let his soft hold on her go and dropped his hands at his side. "How was your day?" His feet shuffled beneath him as she grabbed her purse.

"Fine. Yours?" He shrugged as she finally headed back toward him and they left the house together. "Do you want to drive? I'm not really in a bike mood or outfit."

"Sure."

He was always funny to Mae to see Opie in her tiny little car. She stifled a giggle as he backed out of the driveway and they headed out.

They sat and ordered, short bursts of conversation between visits from the waiter, and once they finally had their drinks and the appetizer salad Mae ordered Opie started talking.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about? You said something about talking without the kids." As he spoke he raised his glass but waited to take a sip.

Mae looked up, eyes wide, and paused before shaking her head. "Oh, no. I just meant if something comes up."

"Okay." The word was drawn and suspicious but Mae looked away as she sipped her water, the wine she ordered sat untouched. "I was thinking of taking the kids out this weekend. There's a bike show but I think they'll wanna do something else."

"That sounds like fun. I know you've been really trying to spend quality time with them and it'll be good for all of you." Mae smiled and moved her food around her plate. "They loved the zoo when I took them, maybe you guys should visit the aquarium. I think San Diego has a great one."

"Yeah, they'll pick that over a bike show." He laughed. "You should come with us. Go for the whole family thing."

"I can't." She stammered quickly. "I have weekend plans."

"Oh," he pulled a face. "With who?"

"A few friends from work. Brunch and stuff on Saturday, trust me, nothing you're looking to do."

"Maybe we can go Sunday?"

"Yeah," Mae said reluctantly. "Maybe Sunday."

They ate and as conversation moved from family outings and the like Mae grew more comfortable. Finishing his dinner Opie laughed to himself. "I haven't been out to dinner in years before you."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah," he reached across the table and took her hand in his. "I love it."

"Good." She smiled and pulled her hand back. "You know my stomach is kind of unsettled, want to down that wine so I don't waste it?"

Opie side eyed her but agreed. Mae was never one to turn down wine. "Let me get the check and we can go."

"I'll pay. My treat for you being so wonderful." Her cheery tone of voice did not match the sadness in her eyes. "I love you Ope."

He smiled sweetly, almost innocent like, and nodded. "I love you too, Mae. You sure you're okay? You look so sad."

"I'm great, Ope, just feeling off."

"Then I'm treating." He winked. "I don't want you being off to uhh, alter your judgement."

Nodding she stood with a sense of urgency and excused herself to sob in the bathroom. Everything he said was right, it was perfect, and Mae knew he'd never give her his blessing to terminate their child. She knew Opie, he wouldn't do it and Mae knew what would happen if she told him.

Drying her face and fixing her makeup Mae left the bathroom to see Opie standing awkwardly by the front doors. She almost lost her composure again at just the sight of him. She couldn't ever tell him and right then as she strolled through the restaurant to meet him, she decided she wouldn't.