I'll Catch You

Chapter 20

After having the kids out of her hair Mae sat at the kitchen table, a few chicken breasts cooling on the counter to use for lunch, and finally allowed herself to cry. She couldn't in front of Piney or the kids but now that she was alone, terribly alone, she couldn't stop the tears. It had been a week or so since the accident, about a day since she'd seen him, but that visit wasn't enough. He was sedated for days, so that small window of time she actually had to look into his green eyes was nowhere near enough. She missed Opie, she feared for him and for herself. She tried calling his room after the kids were in bed and not long before sitting down but there was no answer. She was isolated and starting to lose patience with the kids and work, most everything actually.

The sharp knock on the front door startled her. Patting her cheeks dry and hoping her makeup wasn't smeared straight across her face, she jumped up and answered the door.

"Jax," Mae forced a smile. "Hey. What's up?"

"I'm just checking in on you." As she stepped to the side, he crossed the threshold and gave her a solid hug, not a halfhearted attempt like some of the others had. "How you holding up?"

"I'm good." She laughed, pulling a knife from the block on the counter, and busying herself with chopping the chicken. "Busy, you know with the kids and work. It's crazy, being a faux single mom is really hard. It's even harder now than when he was locked up, blame his injury and pregnancy I guess."

"I'm sure it is. It's great that you're doing this I know Ope appreciates it. I don't think there's anyone he'd trust with those two." He could tell her smile was fake when he'd arrived and, clearly, her body was tense as she stood with her back to him. "You seen him?"

The blade of the knife clanged against the counter as she dropped it. "Not since he first woke up." Her voice was shaky as she spoke, something she wished she had more control over. "Hopefully I'll see him today; the kids have a half-day so we're going to visit him. I'm making lunch, chicken salad," she explained pointing to the cutting board.

"That's nice." Jax muttered, taking her spot at the table. "I just wanted to make sure you're doing alright."

Continuing to prepare lunch, refusing to meet his eyes, Mae nodded. She wasn't the kind of person to open up to many people, although she was not as bad as Opie, and with Jax; she didn't feel the mutual emotion that would have prompted a bond. There was Piney, the two had grown close over the past week or so, but he was dealing with his own pain and she refused to go to him for comfort.

"Like I said, it's hard, but I'm managing." That was an understatement that Jax could see despite how hard as she tried to hide it. "I might have to ask Gem to take them for a little bit tonight? I have a meeting this evening, group review crap at work, I can't miss it."

"Bring em' to my place." He shrugged. "Tara and Neeta can manage."

She nodded.

"Mae," Jax left the table and crossed the kitchen, leaning his weight on the refrigerator door. "What do you need?" Something was wrong but Jax couldn't tell exactly what it was, she was beyond strange and closed down, but it didn't scream traitor, at least not yet.

She broke, looking at Jax as if he could immediately bring Opie home and heal him of an issue she didn't even know the severity of yet. "I need Opie."

"I'm sorry, darlin'." Jax took the pitiful looking Mae into his arms as she cried.

"I can't do this without him. Kenny and Ellie miss him, they're angry and I can't," she sniffled and shook her head. "With the pregnancy and the kids and work, it's a lot. I feel really alone, Jax and I'm scared for him. He won't talk to me, I feel like he pushed me out the other day."