Prologue

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Love?

When is the right time for someone to feel it?

At what age anyone should be to have the right to fall in love?

How would you know when it's love? Is it right to call it love even with the uncertainties?

Is it love if you want to defy everything that would make you lose it?

Is it love, if you give it up?

*

"So you're really leaving?"

My eyes focused on the little stones on the road, refusing to look at the guy talking to me with his begging eyes.

"Yup."

I'm sorry... I wanted to add but I didnt. I dont want to give him hope. I dont want him to hope for us. Or maybe I do, but I don't want to deal with uncertainties, cause I'm a coward...

"That's it? You wont even give me reasons? You wont even tell me to wait, or even ask me how I feel about these? You... "

He stopped, as if he didnt want to say anything else anymore. But I know, it's not that he didnt wanna talk, it's because he can't. I heard him gasp for air and right there I knew, he was hurting. I am hurting him. I don't want to hurt him but it is better this way, right?

"Hindi mo man lang ba tayo bibigyan ng chance na magwork?"

I felt the strong urge to look at him. I wanted to look at his eyes, even if I know, it will break me, so I did. His eyes told me more than what he's been telling me. It's like begging me to stay but can't say it aloud..

"You would not even give me a chance to work us out?"

Nag iwas akong muli ng tingin sa tanong niya. I want to but I'm scared. As I was looking away, I felt his hand slowly and gently grabs my hand, urging me to look at him again. But I closed my eyes to fight it. Looking at him would give all my thoughts away. It'll make me lose my mind.

"Are you scared?"

I tried to keep my eyes shut when he lowered his head down to catch my eyes. There, I wouldn't give him a chance to know. But I was wrong.. he knew. Even without looking straight in to my eyes, even without words coming out of me, he knew.

"Dont be. I wont ask you to stay but I will wait for you to come back to me. And one day, if you're still not here, I will come to you, no matter where you are, I will find you."

Kinagat ko ang labi ko as I slowly open my eyes only to see him hold my hand and squeezed it.

Damn it! How could I ever let this guy go? They kept telling me that it isn't love, that it is just infatuation? Am I really too young to feel this way? Or were they too old and broken that love seems impossible for them?

When he saw me looking at him, he knew I already lost. I am waving the flag through my eyes. After a sad smile from him, he slowly bring my hand to his lips. Kissing it as if it was the most precious thing in the world, as if I am, that I couldn't help myself anymore but throw myself to him, hug him and cry in his shoulders. How could it not be love if it's hurting me this much? How would I know if it's love if I would give it up?

That move shook him for a moment but when he heard my sobs, he hugged me more. It was so tight, yet so comfortable.

"Promise me, you will wait for me."

He whispered into my ears as his hug tightens but I only nodded while still in his arms. Tears slowly calming down. When he realized I was calming down, sinubukan niyang kalasin ang yakap ko but I did not let him. No.

"Ari.."

He softly called me as he tried again, then I let him. Pero iniwas ko ang aking mukha sa kaniya. Trying to hide my messed up face but he held my face gently and made me look at him.

"Tell me you'll be back to me and we'll work it out no matter what."

Our eyes met as he says those words. He knows I will be back for him. He knows I will work it out with him. But as words without actions were just mere words, actions without words could lead to misunderstandings.

"I will be back Bry."

He smiled at ginulo ang buhok ko. I saw his adams apple move up and down before leveling his head down to my face and kissed my forehead.

"I know it's hard for now but I know it will be worth it, coz you're the prize."

With that, he pulled me in again for a warm tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him and close my eyes to feel it more. I will always be back for this. From the moment I threw myself in his arms, I knew, this will be my home.

"Damn! I love you so much, Ari."

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