My Journal

Rambling

This week is taking forever to end. It's only the second day of my new job and I can already tell how stressed out I'm going to be on a daily. The work load isn't even that hard, it's the taking calls part that's killing me. I'm working at my church by the way. Kind of last minute but came at the perfect time since I quit my job last week. The reasons why is for another day. Normally I'm great with older people, but my church members are completely different. It's either they have no brain or suck at basic reading.

That's really all I can complain about right now. I'm sure once this week is over I'll have some stories to tell.

I miss complaining about normal stuff with my friends. We barely talk much and when we do, it's just the normal "How are you?" convos. I haven't seen them in months now. I can't even remember the last time we were all together nor what we even did. Somehow I feel like they're content with that. Like it doesn't bother them at all that we don't know anything that's going on in each others lives.

I've wanted to speak out and say something but whenever I do they always gang up on me. As if I'm attacking them in some way. Year after year, we just get even more distance from each other. I don't know what to do about it anymore. I try reaching out to them just to see if they want to hang out but it's always an excuse on why they can't.

There has to be some point where they at least try to show that they want to spend time as a group together but I'm starting to feel like they just don't care. I know our problem is lack of communication but how can you force people to communicate when they obviously show signs of not wanting to?

There's no point of stressing about it because it won't get solved anytime soon. It just sucks that I don't even have my friends to talk right now. It's funny that I'm even talking about this because, I just made my Christmas shopping list and of course I added them on there. I'll blame it on my obsession for the season of gift giving and not that no matter how many months that I don't talk to my friends, I'll still buy them whatever they want.

Speaking of Christmas, I'm so excited for the holiday season to start! I don't even care about the actual holiday, It's more of the days leading up to it that I love the most.