Open Wounds - A Bucky Barnes Soulmate AU

Chapter Fourteen

Once you realized what you'd said in your anger you groaned and closed your eyes. Fuck. This was not how you wanted to have this conversation. Though you supposed it was way past time to have it. With all of them. You sighed as you looked at your soulmate.

Bucky went still as his own anger drained from him. His complexion paled and his mouth went slack. A million emotions went through his eyes before settling on worry. He was terrified for the next words that would come from you. The silence stretched as the two of you stared at one another, neither wanting to continue this conversation but knowing it had to happen.

"We'll leave the two of you alone," Steve said as he stood.

You raised a hand to stop him. "No. Stay. This is a story I only want to tell once so you might as well all hear it. This is stuff no one knows."

"Not even Clint and Natasha?" Bruce asked.

You shook your head. "Not even Fury. The only one I ever told my whole story to was my dad. So, when I say I don't want to repeat it, take me at me word." You ran a hand down your face. "Just sit down and let me talk."

As your luck would have it, the entire team save Thor had decided today was the day to be in the common area. Super. Your gaze moved from watching them settle to Bucky who still observed you warily.

"You always wondered why Clint calls me Nikki." You licked your lips and looked down before meeting his eyes again. "It's short for Nicto."

Bucky's brow furrowed for a moment then his eyes went wide. "No."

You hummed and gave him a short nod.

Pure devastation contorted his features. "No, no, no. Oh, doll." He sounded so broken as he slumped into the chair he'd been using earlier and dropped his head into his hands.

"You want to fill the rest of us in?" Tony asked after a beat of silence.

You nodded and hopped up on the island. You swung your legs around so you faced the room. Clint sat beside you and took your hand in his. You squeezed it in thanks for the silent support. No one knew more than him and Nat how difficult this was for you.

"My birth father was a Hydra scientist. My mother was one of their test subjects. She'd been born with certain abilities. I don't remember them all. I know she could shield her brain, protect her mind from brain washing and memory loss. That's the part I inherited. Anyway, they were soulmates. My father being who he was, took advantage of the situation." You cleared your throat. "He genetically modified an embryo to not only accept the super soldier serum but to make the absolute most of it. He then implanted it into my mother. He injected small doses of the serum into me through the entire pregnancy."

"Holy shit," Steve muttered.

Your gaze sought out Bucky to find that he hadn't moved. You looked back to the others. "When I say I was made for Hydra, I mean it literally. My mother didn't want to hand me over and managed to convince her soulmate to run. And run they did for six years. My mother was already dead by the time they found us. I don't remember how she died, only that she was no longer there. My father tried to trade me for his freedom. They shot him in the head and took me anyway.

"I knew nothing but pain for a long time. Hydra didn't care that I was a child. To them I was a specimen with the potential to be their greatest weapon. They injected me with the serum until I was positive it had replaced the blood in body. They injected and experimented as I screamed my throat raw. And then when they tried to erase my brain, they found they couldn't. While that meant I got to stay me, it also means I remember everything they did to me."

You paused as memories flooded your brain. Clint squeezed your hand bringing you back to the present. "When they started training me, they paired me with Soldat. The Winter Soldier. They called me Nicto. No one. They let me spend time with him. Housed us in the same cell most of the time. He became my friend as much as he was able."