Miss Miller

chapter 26

"Goodmorning New York City, what a lovely Autumn morning it is" the radio echos through the apartment. I make myself toast with butter. I have class in an hour. I leave early so I can walk today instead of getting the bus. The fresh autumn air tangles my hair, I let it.

It's been three months since I came back from Califnoria, I still miss her. I've been told she's been busy with work, I act like I don't want to know these things but really I do. I smoke a cigarette on the way to class, I've found it keeps me relaxed.

I told my mom about Lou, I could tell she was slightly dissapointed. She came to visit me for a couple of days, she was dissapointed in my smoking habit. Her of all people should understand.

I arrive to my lecture early, I decide to take a seat and wait for everyone else to arrive. I check my social media while I wait. Theres a big party happening at a club tonight we are all supposed to go to, I'm looking forward to it. Everyone starts to pile into the class room. Gemma sits next to me, we have became very close the past couple of months.

My phone buzzes in my pocket in the middle of class, I take a glance at it, its Jess asking if we are going to the club tonight. I text her back to tell her we are. Gemma is coming back to ours to get ready with us. It's 4pm, class is finally over. We link arms as we walk out towards my apartment. Jess is waiting for us there, we laugh about the past couple of nights we have spent at bars drinking. I light a cigarette on the way home.

"Those will kill you one day" she jokes

I shake my head "Everyone says that" I take a draw from it "it's a little bad habbit" I joke

She shakes her head "very bad habbit"

We discuss what we are wearing tonight, we buy a couple of bottles of wine on the way home for taking back.

"How have you been feeling?"

I shrug my shoulders "I don't know" I pause "I feel numb, it's a horrible feeling"

Her arms grips mine tighter "you have a lot of people around you who cares about you, remember that"

I smile at her "I know, its been a shitty phew months but that's life for you" I change the subject "anyway, I hope we have a good night...I'm glad we don't have any classes tomorrow"

She agrees.

We are greeted back at the apartment by Jess, she's already in the party spirit. She has music blaring and drinks are being poured. We drink glass after glass of wine and stumble around getting ready quickly to head out. We get to the club around 9pm, all three of us already pretty drunk. We order shots at the bar and quickly drink them. We all make our way over to the dance floor.

We all dance together, laughing at everyone's cheesy dance moves. The lazzors and lights flashing all over each others faces, Gemma catches my eyes. She's just standing there swaying slowly to music, her eyes are different...I've never noticed how brown they are. Her lips are asking me to kiss them, I place my hands on each side of her face and lean in forward to kiss her, she kisses me back. I pull away and laugh, her brown eyes brighten as she looks at me.

I get overwhelmed by sadness, I step back from her "im sorry...I can't do this" I walk away from her, I walk outside and stumble down the street. The cold air wraps around my body, making it cold. I find a bar close by that I stagger into, I sit at the bar and order a drink.

"Can I have a shot of Vodka please" I ask nicely

"Don't yĺou think you've had enough to drink, kid?" His head shaking

"I just need one more" I pout my lips "please"

He puts his hands up "Okay, one more"

He places a shot glass on the bar then pours the vodka in it, I hand him my money.