i can go anywhere i want (just not home)

"it's not alcohol, don't worry"

Kate can't help but grovel over the next few days. Her head is clear, yes, and alcohol free - even going so far as to get rid of every last bottle of it in her apartment - and she's feeling better, but she's still angry.

It sits firmly in her bones and she hates that she misses Yelena as much as she doesn't like her. She's mad that Yelena left her (which leads into an afternoon spent practicing archery because it calms her down), but she also understands, which hurts more. She almost wishes Yelena cheated on her so Kate would have a reason to be mad at her.

She also wonders how Yelena's doing, what Yelena's doing, but she can't find it in herself to send a text and check up. Yelena did the leaving, anyway, so anything from her end would look desperate.

But she bites the bullet and instead sets up a hangout with Charlie for the next day, admittedly feeling bad for ghosting them and remembering the conversations they had together fondly.

Today, though, is the Lucky Rescue Day (dramatic, she's aware, especially since Grills loves that dog more than anything and treats him like a king), and Kate's excited to see her favorite boy again.

That walk is met with a lot of cynicism, missing how Yelena and her would retrieve the dogs after trips to the Bartons or weekends away. Yelena used to hold her hand and they'd stand so close that their shoulders would bump. Kate always used the buzzer while Yelena commented on how easy it was to break in (always a different strategy, too) and they always got pizza on the walk home.

Those nights after were always the best, too, if Kate's honest. They'd all get into bed together and Fanny would settle at the foot and Lucky would try to wedge himself between Yelena and Kate before giving up and leaning up against Kate's back. If he was in a particularly energized mood, he'd flip his head back and nuzzle Kate with his snout until she pet him.

Halfway through the walk, her phone starts buzzing in her pocket and she pulls it out, smiling a little when she sees Peter's name displayed.

"Hey, Parker, what's up?"

"MJ told me to check up on you," Peter says, and there's some commotion in the background that suggests his claims to be true, "So, you alive? Breathing?"

"For the most part," Kate replies, unable to help the smile on her face, "I'm four years older than you, isn't it me who should be doing the checking up."

"Technically, I was born in 2001," Peter quips, "So was MJ. And Ned. We're older."

"All three of you stopped aging for five years. And I was only born a year after you. So, checkmate," Kate replies with a light laugh, Grills' apartment building now coming into view, "When does your semester end, anyway?"

"Soon," Peter says, and there's a little more commotion heard before a loud outburst of laughter, "Sorry. Ned's being an ass. I'll be back around Christmas. You should come to the tower! It's so much fun, promise."

"I'll think about it," Kate nods, "Anything else you gotta tell me?"

"Not that I know of," Peter responds, "Just... stop by for Christmas? Please?"

"Since you asked so nicely," Kate crosses the street to the one in front of Grills' building, "I'll try. I gotta go, though, so I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"Where do you gotta go?" Peter asks immediately, and Kate almost wants to groan. Having a secret plan and being asked about it is so much less fun.

"It's nothing," Kate assures him, hitting the buzzer, "It's not alcohol, don't worry. Gotta go, bye!"

"What are you-"

Kate hangs up and puts her phone in her pocket, calling out a quick, "It's Kate!" when Grills asks who it is.

The door clicks and unlocks and Kate heads up, grateful that in this six-story walkup that Grills lived on the second floor, getting up to the apartment in no time.

She hears Lucky scratching at the door when she knocks and her heart leaps. She missed this damn dog so much. Grills opens the door after a minute and Lucky bursts out, sniffing Kate all over and she crouches, pulling him into her arms.

"Hi buddy," she holds him a little tighter, "I missed you so much."

Lucky pants loudly in her ear before nosing her and kissing her all over her face.

"Someone's happy to see you," Grills says, and Kate looks up from her spot on the ground.

"I missed him so much," she says softly, scratching under his ear and smiling when he leans into it, happy smile not leaving his face.

"Do you want to come in?" Grills asks, "I have some food here and Missy's here."

"Missy's here?" Kate cocks her head teasingly, and Grills rolls his eyes, "I don't want to interrupt. Thanks for taking care of Lucky by the way, I know it must've been a lot."

"Hey," Grills sends her a small smile, "Lucky's the best dog. It's never a problem. You're okay, though, right?"

Kate nods, "I'm doing better. It was... it was a rough couple of months for a while."

"I'm glad you're doing better," he responds, "You look a lot better. And if you ever need anything, just call me."

"I will," Kate hooks Lucky's leash on to his collar, "Thank you."

When Kate arrives home that night, she and Lucky spend a lot of time snuggled up on her bed together.

"Do you miss Fanny?" she finds herself asking as she scratches at his chest, "You two were like best friends, dude. I miss her. And Lena, but that's... obvious."

She takes a deep breath, ignoring the show playing on her laptop, "I think I'm gonna sell the apartment," she chews on her lip, feeling weird about saying it out loud. She's been thinking about it for a long time, even before she and Yelena broke up. It's not in the best area of town, it's too bachelor-pad-esque, and she misses having walls.

The studio part of it is nice for Lucky, but she likes having spaces to herself and spaces for friends, and that hasn't existed in this apartment ever.

"Do you wanna live with Peter?" Lucky looks up at her quizically, seemingly irritated that her hand stopped moving. "You like Peter," Kate scratches his chest again, "Peter's cool. And his family offered. You haven't met Morgan yet but she's really nice, I think she'd like you. Though Pepper and Tony don't strike me as the dog type."

Kate knows she's rambling to a dog and said dog has no shits to give about any of this nor any understanding of it, but she doesn't exactly care. Sometimes, she's realized, she needs to just get things out with no worries of a response.

"Maybe we could just move closer to the tower," Kate hums, switching the show on her laptop to her Spotify, "It's still far enough away from Natasha and Wanda's house, and we'd be closer and could go hang out if we wanted."

Lucky just throws his body to the side, puffing his chest out in demand of more scratches.

"Or we stay here," Kate sighs, "I hate this."

She rolls from her side on to her back, staring up at the ceiling, remembering absentmindedly of when Yelena said they should put a TV up there so they wouldn't be bored at night. Kate responded that it was way cuter to watch movies on a laptop, but Yelena insisted on a TV on the ceiling.

She can practically hear Yelena's voice in her head saying "but Kate Bishop, we won't have to move our heads. So convenient! Isn't that what you Americans are for?"

Kate closes her eyes, jerking a little bit when Lucky rests his chin on her stomach.

She opens her eyes to see Lucky looking at her and scratches his head again, "I missed you."

Continuing to scratch his head, she closes her eyes again and feels the exhaustion of the day creeping into her bones.

All that remains in her head as she falls asleep is the quiet sound of epiphany playing and the weight of Lucky's head on her stomach.

The whole moving thing is a tomorrow problem.