You Make Me Happy, But...

Prologue

My name is Monica Victoria Jansen and I'm a 16 year old. I was born in Ohio and then moved to California when I was 6. My parents are dead because of a plane crash, there were about to go to Mexico on that day.

Now, I'm living with my aunt, Melissa. Her husband died because of lungs cancer. I used to go to a public school but, I'm homeschooled now with Mrs. Johansson. Why I'm homeschooled? Because I'm blind.

At age 10, I became blind. I think it makes me want to die. I hate being blind so much.

I got a friend named Eufrosina Bachman, she is my neighbor and she is dating with her boyfriend named Cameron Dallas. I can't describe how does Cameron look like and also Eufrosina now.

Eufrosina goes to school together with Cameron. I think it makes me jealous even more because they're so cute together. I don't know what it feels like to fall in love with someone.

I've never been in love before because I'm just a blind girl. I think boys don't like me because I feel bad about them to have me. What if their thoughts were like, "Why do I have a girlfriend like this?" it makes me awkward.

Life is so hard for me. What I do in my room is listening to music, talking with my self and smiling with myself. I feel so weird sometimes.

About Mrs. Johansson, she is really amazing to me. She loves me so much and she is so kind too. She always wears her perfume and it smells like kind of roses.

I wish I could go to school with Eufrosina so that I could have more friends in there like them. I think they have more friends in their school. Me? I only have two friends? Eufrosina and Cameron only? Okay, that's fine.

When it was on Christmas eve, I was being asked to sing a christmas song. I was singing "The First Noel" in my church. To be honest, my voice is bad and now I don't want to sing anymore.

Whenever my headphone's in sometimes I feel like I want to die but I can't because my aunt really needs me. My aun't can't go alone without me.

My aunt is a 52 year old and her husband died at age 44.

Eufrosina is a close friend of mine since we were 11. The first time, I started talking with her when her leg was bleeding, I remember that.

If I wasn't blind I would see the view of California and see people. I would like to see my self. I wonder how do I look like, I guess I'm ugly.

I'm just the girl who loves to listen to music all day when I'm sad or happy.

I feel like I want to die because I'm sick of having no more friends and being blind.