Magicblazer Oneshots

How Dark?

(University/Coffee Shop AU)

"Next in line, please!"

A blonde in a beige trench coat walks up to the front of the window, and I sigh. He looks like your everyday douchebag. Well, maybe not everyday, as he is rather hot, but still a douchebag. "Hi, welcome to Beans and Books. What can I get for you?" I ask. "Oh, well hello there, gorgeous," the man responds, looking up from his phone, an eyebrow raised at me, checking me out. Yep, I was right. Sexy douchebag. Oxymoron, but whatever. "Sorry, trenchcoat. All business in this hellhole. Hurry up, there are honest people waiting behind you, and you do not want angry people devoid of caffeine," I chuckle before shaking my head and raising an eyebrow at him. "Your order, trenchcoat?"

"Large. Like my soul, Princess."

I look up from my kiosk, staring into his cerulean eyes. "Sorry, how dark?"

"Straight black, Princess." I sigh. The joys of being a college student trying to get some extra cash. "Anything else?" I ask the douchebag after resisting the urge to roll my eyes and getting the according cup. "Eh, a set of digits wouldn't hurt, Princess."

And there it is. The typical line. My favorite, woohoo.

Note the sarcasm.

"Can I get a name with that, Dark and Mysterious?" I question, ignoring his request. "Name's Constantine, Love. John Constantine."

"Which one?" I ask, not even looking up from the coffee cup, my sharpie positioned to scribble whatever this dude told me.

"Constantine's fine, Love."

"Right. Constantine, then. Your total's gonna be $2.69," I tell him before sliding the cup over to my partner. 

"Now ain' that somethin' I'd like t' do with you," he murmured, his voice dropping at least a few octaves, his pitch perfect. As much as I hated it, I felt myself growing wetter, a shiver running down my spine.

What the fuck am I doing? I know how this'll end. A good fucking, one that'll satisfy me for months on end. A second one, if I'm lucky. After that, I never see him again. He'll break my heart. I should know better. I should stay away.

"Shut up and pay, asshole," I snarl, snapping myself out of my trance.

My partner in crime and best friend, Dinah, looks at me with a smirk. "Got another one, Zee?"

"This one's persistent, I'll tell you that much," I tell her with a chuckle. "Hold the phone, that's-"

"Alright, alright. Shut up before we both get fired, Di," I cut her off.

"'Ere, Love." He hands me a €5 bill, and I stare at him. "We only take American bills," I inform, staring at him straight in the eyes.

"Sorry, Princess. Gimme one mo', will ya?"

I sigh. "Hurry up and pay, people are waiting."

"Yeah, yeah, give me one bleeding second, Love."

"Right. My apologies." He fiddles around in his wallet before handing me a $5 bill. "Alright, 'appy, yeah?"

I smile and take the money. "Afraid you were gonna rob me there for a second, Constantine."

"It's five bleeding dollars. I would've robbed ya of a lot more, Love. Keep the change."

He slides me a small slip of paper. "Call me later, Princess."

"Your order will be right out, Constantine," I tell him with an obviously fake smile before sliding the paper in my pocket sneakily after taking it off of the counter. "Thanks, Love."