Commentary Hype House

Moving Day

She gasped as she saw the estate.. which followed a mile long driveway.

This usually would not be a big deal, as Chad Chad was a relatively good driver, but she had an evil car named Bob that would be infected with small pox any time that it was on a long driveway. Funny enough, that's why Chad Chad used to have the shortest driveway in existence. It couldn't even fit Bob on it. It was so fucking short. But like they say, a short driveway a day keeps the small pox doctor away!

She gulped and began driving, fully aware of the fatigue, rapid vomiting, and rashes appearing on the car. She persevered on until the car broke down halfway through. Drat!

She searched around for another car before seeing Drew Gooden. She waved at him, and to her surprise, he stopped the car!

"Hey Chad Chad! What're you doing in the middle of the road? You're kinda in the way of the driveway"

"Oh yeah sorry man my car just got fucking smallpox."

"Again?! Chad Chad, this is the 17th time this week!"

"I know!"

Drew paused for a moment before continuing.

"Would you wanna ride in my car? It's a little crowded with stuff and you'd have to sit in the back because I brought my butler Hen but you wouldn't have to walk."

"Sure, thanks!"

She grabbed her backpack, sleeping bag, and pillow before she got in the car and sat down in the backseat. It was SO uncomfortable, but hey, she didn't have to walk half a mile to get there, so.. you win some lose some?

She looked at Drew's butler, Hen. Hen was not a chicken. Hen was a tan-skinned man with dark red hair. He was wearing a black tuxedo and a bow tie. Honestly, he was pretty damn attractive- Even Chad Chad, who was not looking to date anyone at the time, could admit that.

At long last they had gotten to the Mcdonald's McMansion!

Drew and Chad Chad got out while Hen grabbed Drews infinite amount of luggage and began hauling it inside. Drew and Chad Chad raced inside and took in the surroundings. It was breathtaking.

Drew gasped, "Wow.."

".. It's beautiful," Chad Chad finished his sentence for him.

They decided to explore the massive Mcdonald's McMansion. They found a room labelled "Mayor's room" and knocked on it. Out popped a mullet man.

"Kurtis!" Chad Chad and Drew exclaim in unison.

"Hey guys! So glad you made it safely! How are you?"

"Oh I'm pretty good," Drew says as Chad responds with, "My car might have just fucking died."

.

.

.

"Well that's awesome! Cody's already here, Danny and Emily will probably be here later tonight. They had to drive together, since they both live far from here :)"

"Oh, okay! Is anyone else going to join us?" Drew asked.

"OH yeah also Jarvis Johnson and Nickisnotgreen. Nick should be an hour away, Jarvis won't be here until lunch tomorrow. He's got some issues to take care of? I don't remember the deets."

Chad Chad was not listening, instead she was spacing out while planning to get another car and leave Bob with her ex boyfriend Shrek.

After they finally stopped talking, Kurtis showed them to their empty rooms.

Chad Chad placed down her sleeping bag and pillow before plugging in her phone charger, getting in her sleeping bag, and falling asleep.

On the other hand, Drew did not have a sleeping bag. He did, however, have a Hen. He used the poor butler as a human mattress. It was extremely uncomfortable for Hen, but the best night of sleep Drew had ever had, resting on those ripped muscles.

The next morning, Chad Chad woke up and decided to check if there was any food in the kitchen. Unfortunately, she still did not know her way around the McDonald's McMansion just yet, and ended up wandering around for the next two hours.

When she had finally arrived at the kitchen, the first thing she noticed was her favorite snack; white cheddar cheez its! Unfortunately, the second thing she noticed was some girl eating them.

The third thing she noticed was a sticky note on the cabinet reading "Enjoy the snacks! ^^ -Kurtis"

"Excuse me, are you eating all of the cheez its?!"

"Yeah, why??"

"Uh, you can't just eat my cheez its."

"You didn't buy them, Kurtis did."

"Yeah, he bought them knowing full well that they're my favorite."

"And? You don't own cheez its. You aren't in charge of who can or can't eat them."

Chad Chad realized this strange girl had a point.

"Who even are you??"

"I'm Not Even Emily. Danny and I arrived last night. Who are you?"

"I'm Chad Chad, and those are my cheez its"

All of a sudden some Andrew Tate simp showed up. "HELL YEAH! KITCHEN WORKER FIGHT!! WHICH CAN CLEAN THE FASTEST???"

Emily and Chad Chad stared at each other. They both knew what they had to do.

They raised their arms..

And beat the shit out of this misogynist.

Kurtis heard all this noise and came downstairs only to see them absolutely destroying this guy.

"What the fuck's going on here?!"

They explained the situation to him, as well as the fact that he trespassed.

Kurtis then proceeded to call the cops and the guy got arrested.

After all the craziness winded down, Chad Chad and Emily started to talk it out.

"You know, from this I learned that maybe there are worse things in the world than losing a couple cheez its."

Emily apologized as well, "Yeah, and maybe I should share too," although she was clearly in the right and didn't need to apologize as she didn't know and the cheez its didn't belong to Chad Chad after all.

They ended up putting aside their differences.

A week later, Drew Gooden heard the doorbell ring and rushed over to the door and yanked it open, only to see Cody Ko.

"Hey Cody! What's up?"

"Ahoy matey! Who be you?" The guy at the door said with a weird accent.

All of a sudden Drew gasped. He knew who this was, and it was not Cody Ko. It was his evil twin.. KoCo Dy.

No

fucking

way.

"KoCo Dy?!?!"

"That's Cap'n Dy to you, land scum! Dweeb ahoy!"

Drew rolled his eyes, "Okayyyy, Cap'n Dy. What do you want?"

"Ay, I be here for my arch nemesis, Cody Ko of the land scum!"

"*Sigh* Okay, well, he's in his room asleep, okay? He doesn't really like to be disturbed."

"Well alas, matey, he will be disturbed. HARRR HARRR HARR"

Oh my god, did this guy ever shut the fuck up? Drew slammed the door on him.

The door pounded, but Drew didn't really care. He went back to his room, texted Jarvis about the situation, and fell asleep.