"Okay class, I want you to write about your dreams in life. Tell whether it's your first dream or your new dream. If it's your first dream, what made you stay and hold on with that dream? And if it's your new dream, what made you let go of your first dream and decided to make a change in your life? In this task, there are no right or wrong. Every answer of yours are valid, understand?" Mrs. Araquel, our teacher, instructed us about our new task. Hmm, it made me think about my dream.
So, I started to write.
I can't stop thinking about it. Every single night. I kept on thinking about something that is impossible for me to achieve. I kept on thinking about someone that is impossible for me to meet. Once... twice... thrice... I lost count. I've been imagining myself of someone who is near enough for him to know that I exist. Is it possible? I used to make a deal with myself that I must do better for myself, my family, and the people around me. But now, why the sudden change? My long years of striving for them turned to making my life better just for a certain someone. Wherein that someone doesn't even know my existence at all, what more to see my efforts to reach his pace. I was never like this. I may have the experience of liking someone and even more than that. But, this time, it's different. How can I feel something when we didn't even met at least once in person. Can someone explain to me why is this happening to me? Because I feel so scared. Scared that I may not be able to handle it once I got hurt. Should I go there and introduce myself to him? I should say 'hi' and tell him how much I like him since the performance he did in that particular show. Tell him I am a big fan and advise him to keep soaring for his dreams. It's so amazing how I got influenced by his dreams and now I am dreaming of it. Thinking if one day, will he be able to notice me? That if I am able to dream the same dream, will I ever get the chance to make my dream into a reality? Because he's my dream that affects greatly my reality.
And I'm done. Time to pass the paper.
"I see that you all focused on the task that I have given. Job well done, class! You may now all go. I hope that what you have written in this paper will come true. With great determination and putting so much effort, I know you will. Have a good day, class!"
"Shana, ano nakalagay sa sulat mo? Dati mong pangarap o bago na? Ako kasi dati pa rin, seems like I can't let go of my one and only dream," one of my classmate asked me while going out of the school. She stayed, then. She's holding on to her dream very tight. Good for her.
"I got a new dream, just recently," I answered back. And I'm the one who chose to let go and decided to make a change in my life. Not bad for me.
My classmate looked at me as if she wanted to know more about my new dream, so I continued. "This new dream of mine... it's unexpected. I never knew that I would be able to change my track, when I'm almost there to reach for my flag. I've seen it waving, but I still backed out. I just knew that... with my new dream... I'll be happy. And with my first dream? I can only be contented. I chose being happy rather than being contented. Because just like in love, you won't be happy with someone else if you're already contented with your first one. I'm happy with my new one, and that's how I decided to let go of my first one."
"I'm happy for you, Shana. You are so brave for letting go and chase for your new happiness. Sana matupad mo 'yong pangarap mo. I'll root for you, classmate!"
I don't know if this will still be her reaction once she knew that my dream is not like everyone's dream. They are dreaming for a great career, while I dream of someone. He's great, though.
