He Can't Forget | ✓

17 | redemption

Everything that was happening was all his fault.

He barely registered Marinette's sobs as she fell into Alya's arms. He wanted to be the one to hold her, to assure her that he could fix this and that they would get Emma back safe and sound, but he couldn't find the strength to even stand from the couch. His mind felt like a blur. His eyes were burning. His ears were ringing, and whatever noise filled the room was barely audible to him. What little he could hear sounded completely out of his reach.

The only thing that sounded nearby was his own voice, loudly repeating to him over and over and over again in his head that if he hadn't been here, none of this would have happened. Had he stayed away, Emma would still be here. Instead, he had unknowingly made her a target to Hawkmoth, once again ruining something that was so important to him.

First, he destroyed his relationship with the love of his life and now he was the one to put their daughter in danger. What kind of man was he? What kind of father did that make him?

"This is all my fault." Adrien said aloud, and the words couldn't have been any clearer. The hushed voices of his friends fell silent, as did Marinette's strained sobs. He could feel all eyes on him a second later, but he was too ashamed to meet any of their gazes.

"This isn't your fault, dude." Nino spoke up first.

Adrien chuckled bitterly at that. He knew Nino would say that. He shook his head and finally stood to his feet. Still avoiding their gazes, he started heading for the door. "I need some fresh air."

No one asked him to stay. In fact, their silence only further broke his heart. Swiping at the new tears that trickled down his cheek with the back of his palm, he forcefully opened that door and slammed it behind him.

But right before it slammed, he heard Marinette call after him.

He stopped right at her doorstep in shock, quickly debating if hearing her voice call after him was his mind playing tricks on him or not. His initial idea had been to transform into Chat Noir for some fresh air, but he found himself too exhausted just at the thought of bounding from roof to roof. So instead, he settled for sitting on the steps that led up to her apartment. It seemed his mind really wasn't playing tricks on him when a moment later, the front door opened, revealing Marinette underneath the threshold.

In silence, she closed the door behind her and took a seat beside him on the steps. He didn't look over his shoulder to meet her gaze. Instead, they sat side by side in agonizing silence, and he found himself unable to bear it for very long when his anxiety only began to rise.

He buried his face in his hands. "How can you sit beside me?" He broke the silence with muffled words from his palms, but the tremble in his voice was clearly audible.

"What do you mean?" Marinette's voice was strangely soft.

He scoffed, the disgust behind it only directed at himself. "I just put our daughter in danger. How are you not angry at me?"

"Adrien, this isn't your fault—"

"Of course it's my fault!" He turned to look at her then, pain stricken all across his face. "I'm the one who told my father about Emma!"

Despite his raised voice, Marinette didn't grow angry with him. Instead, her features softened to reveal understanding—understanding that he was hurting, and that she knew exactly what type of pain he was feeling.

"You couldn't have known your father was Hawkmoth." Marinette tried to assure him, but he wasn't convinced. He should have known. How could he not have known that his own father was the man he and Ladybug had been fighting since they were teens? He lived under the same roof with that man.