Firework

Empty

'Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,

Drifting through the wind,

Wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin,

Like a house of cards,

One blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?

Six feet under, screams but no-one

Seems to hear a thing?

Did you know that there's,

Still a chance for you?'

I pulled my earphones out as the seat belt sign above me flashed and sighed. That first bit of the song I got, I understood it with every fiber of my being, but that last sentence? That wasn't right. Or it wasn't for me. There wasn't a chance for me. Not anymore.

He'd broken me, broken me down into little pieces and I couldn't put them back together. Because of him I'd lost everything, no chance at getting it back. Not now. Not now I was on my way to Mystic Falls, Virginia.

Charlie had agreed with me, under duress, when this all started, when he first left, that I didn't have to go to Florida to live with Renne. She wouldn't have wanted me anyway. We both knew that. So I'd tried to start living again, to make Charlie stop worrying about me. And for a while it had worked, Jake had been there for me and it helped having a friend. Someone I could rely on again.

But then Jake just vanished from my life too. Didn't want anything to do with me anymore. He stopped calling me, wouldn't return my calls, wouldn't see me. Like everyone else, he abandoned me. And that's when I realized, I wasn't worth it. The tedious, boring, bookworm wasn't worth friends.

I shut down again. And this time my dad stuck to his guns. He didn't send me to Florida; as predicted Renne hadn't wanted me messing up her newly married life. Instead he's sending me to live with my uncle, Charlie's half brother, Alaric. I'd only met the guy once and here I was on a plane to go live with him. Shunted from one end of the country to the other like an undeliverable piece of mail that no-body wanted, that no-one knew quite what to do with.

~0~

It took almost seven hours, seven very long and very boring hours to reach Virginia where uncle Alaric was supposed to be meeting me. I wasn't holding out much hope though, I was guessing he wanted me to stay with him about as much as I wanted to be there.

I grabbed my one small bag and headed for the arrivals lounge. All my clothes were thick and heavy, winter clothes for Forks, so Charlie despite my protests had given me a wad of cash to buy new ones. Add that to the money that I'd saved from working at Newton's and I thought that I'd probably have enough for some clothes and a mode of transport while here. Maybe I'd get a bike instead of a car? I'd always enjoyed riding, and maybe I'd even see him again, even if just in my warped head?

I trudged through the airport looking for a man I barely remembered, who didn't know what I looked like either. I'd met him once when I was like seven or something and I was pretty sure that I'd changed since then.

Maybe I should have thought ahead and asked where he was gonna meet me? Or maybe he's not gonna come at all. Accept it no-one who knows you wants you around, so why should some stranger? A little nagging voice in my head exposed my own insecurities to me.

That's when I noticed a man standing very awkwardly just inside the arrivals lounge holding a sign with 'BELLA' printed on it neatly. Guess this was it then. I ignored the relief I felt just as I'd ignored the voice in my head that sounded suspiciously like my own.