Love, Lies, and Other Ties

Prologue

People always say common phrases like, "Never judge a book by its cover" or "don't get your hopes up". I never really put much thought into them when I was younger. I thought that my life was destined to be perfect. I had a good childhood, I guess. I had two parents and was an only child but my parents provided everything I could ever need. When I was about 10, my mom got sick and I never realized that it was bad until we sat down to eat dinner and my mom collapsed onto the table and her dinner plate.

She was rushed to the hospital where we found out that she had stage 3 lung cancer. Even though the doctor told us not to get our hopes up, we still fought it aggressively. Medications, surgeries, and lengthy hospital stays with lots of fluids and blood transfusions. My father buried himself in work as a lawyer so that we could afford everything she needed. When I wasn't at school, I was either at my aunt's house or the hospital with my mom. This only made me drift away from my friends, but I didn't have that many, to begin with.

Just before I turned 13, I got to the hospital after walking from the bus stop that was a quarter mile up the road. I went to walk to her room when a nurse approached me asking if I came with my father. They all knew me pretty well since I was always here. I told her that he was at work but that I would try and call him. I called him three times and he never answered. I tried once more and he answered.

"WHAT?!", he angrily asked. I hesitated because he had never talked to me like this before.

"Ummm, hi, daddy. I just got to the hospital and the nurses said they need to speak with you."

"So? I'm busy in a meeting! I'll be there when I can," He said aggravatedly and harshly hung up the phone.

Tears brimmed my eyes as I walked back towards the nice nurse I know as Tracy. Tracy was the sweetest and my favorite of all my mama's nurses. She always makes sure I have plenty to eat and drink anytime I am here. If I ever had to stay overnight because my dad was working over, she would either switch shifts so she could stay later or she would just clock out and spend the night with me in the room. She was a short, plump older woman that was about my mom's age or maybe in her early forties. She wore glasses and had blond, graying hair.

"Did you reach him, honey?" Tracy asked me while she looked down the hall at several doctors and nurses coming out of my mom's room. Something wasn't right.

"Um, yeah but he said he is in the middle of a meeting so he isn't sure when he could get here. What's going on, Tracy?" I'm getting so nervous. I just want to see my mama.

"Let's go sit and have some hot chocolate," Tracy said as she started leading me the opposite way to what I know is the direction of the cafeteria. We walked in and sat at the table we always sit at. "Would you like something to eat, sweetheart?"

Something is wrong, I can feel it. If I eat something now, I may puke. So, I just give her an awkward friendly smile, shake my head and say a quiet, "No, thank you."

She walks up to the counter as she holds up 2 fingers and the girl behind the counter starts getting our cups while Tracy waits. Most of the staff knows who I am since I am always here. I usually don't eat a lot because I feel guilty buying food while my dad works so hard to try and pay the bills until my mama gets better so when the staff members have breaks, they would usually pick up something for me to eat or drink just so they know I am okay. I don't like feeling like I'm a charity case or that they pity me but I am so thankful that they are around to look out for me.

Tracy disturbs my thoughts when she sits in front of me and scoots a cup and a cinnamon streusel muffin, which is my favorite, in my direction. My stomach growls and I then realize I am more hungry than I thought so I start just picking at the muffin and eat small bites to delay whatever it is that I can feel is coming.