Unreal.

GARTH 1

I always awake holding my breath, at least for as long as I can remember. My mind never reacted well to the beginning of a new day. I was aware of the fact that I was awake, I knew. But my eyes never quite got the memo. I lay here with my eyes closed waiting for the que to hit me, just then it did. I felt my throat get heavy and my chest tighten, that was the que. I held my breath harder to prevent the sob from escaping, harder and harder until I felt the weight lift off and with it came the breath I had been holding in. My eyes open and squint as I adjust to the lighting in the room.

I have spent enough time in bed to stay any longer so I sit up and face the window. With not so much as one second thought I instinctively walk towards it and just stare. Stare with a somber heart at the sun picking out of the horizon. Regardless of the difficulty to get out of bed, the morning was the time of day that moved me. The hour, just when dawn was beginning to break, was almost perfect, it may be the only thing on earth so close to perfection. An hour that brought even the greatest sinners peace, I would know. I stood there for some time just watching, I watched silently as the sun graced the earth with it's rays of yet another shot at life. To think the same rays of life were a stairway to the next life for the souls that did not get the same shot, I would much rather be among them.

I could feel myself drift towards the ecstasy of moving on, it was an addictive feeling.... a feeling I have come to love but yet I will myself to not hang onto it too long. So I snapped back and let my body take over, this was the part I completely relied on muscle memory which was all because I allowed my head to get the best of me. With one final glance I closed my eyes and began to paint the image in my mind, an image I may put on canvas later or whenever I get the chance. Turning away with my eyes closed I made my way to the bathroom located at the back of the room making sure to carefully maneuver around the boxes scattered on the floor. They were not hard to miss, I knew the location of each one just as I got close enough. Also they had been laying there long enough to still trip over them. Once I successfully made it to the bathroom I opened my eyes and was face-to-face with myself, well my reflection. I had let myself go these past couple of days. My beard had definitely grown past its presentable stage, my dreadlocks clearly were in dire need of a retouch and my eyes or rather under eyes were more sunken than usual. I looked barely alive. All in regards to the piece I had been working on restlessly. I only submitted it last night and last night in weeks I had a full 8 hours of sleep. I sighed deeply, opening the cabinet and taking my toothbrush, I went to reach for my shaving machine but realized I had already packed it away. It wasn't far I just wasn't in the mood to look for it..... I instead brush my teeth then take a quick shower making a mental note to stop by the Barber as I drove out of state. I picked up the clothes I slept in last night and toss them in my carrier bag and got dressed.

My outfit today was in its regular genre, loose fitted light gray pants, a white long-sleeve t-shirt, a mid blue dress shirt tipped off with a pair of white converse and my silver chain. Once I was ready I worked through my kitchen not stopping because there was nothing to stop for. I was out the door and knocking on my neighbor's door opened almost instantly.

"G! Hey morning." he said, sounding wide awake. He was an early riser just like I was. It was actually how we met, I was heading down the hall to the gym early before anyone else in the building utilized it. We bumped into each other in the hall and once he discovered I was headed there he made a joke saying that he thought he was the only loner in the building. I explained that I had just moved and he suggested we become loners together. I guess we sparked some kind of friendship after that.

"Hey man... I uh I'm moving out today and they're still a couple of boxes to carry down if you don't mind helping." I ended up studying his face . To be honest I would definitely manage by myself, it's just that I did not know how to say goodbye to him. I was absolutely terrible at farewells, I hope he agrees so it wouldn't feel like one. "Oh yeah sure G just give me a moment to look presentable," he said gesturing to his boxers. I gave him a nod then walked back into my apartment. I left the door open and got to putting things in order, spreading my bed then throwing the empty Chinese food packs in the bin. I know room service will take them out, they'll probably redo the bed too.