ROLLER-COASTER EMOTIONS

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It has been the 4th day that the milkovich men have been working on mine and mickey new house. The men from the South side have came and have started the renovations. They offered to do the whole house up for half a million dollars but mickey declined.

I've been feeling so much worse. I've been getting shooting pains all over my body randomly that are none stop. We went to the hospital about it but they just checked on me told me I wasn't in labor and they could induce me now or send me home so I went home. I really don't want to be induced I want my birth to be as natural as possible so my boy will come when my boy wants to come.

I can barely move anymore. Mickey helps me get out of bed and bathe and he helps me go downstairs and I end up staying in the same position on the couch all day cause its to painful for me to move. The pains get so bad sometimes that I end up crying In pain.

"babe are you OK you zoned out again. " mickey asks as he helps me out of the bath tub. "mhm" I say through the pain. We walk down the hall and Into my bedroom where I start getting ready very slowly.

Mickey quickly got ready into a white tank top and black cargo pants and he put on his jordan 1s with them. He then came over and helped me get ready.

Even though I'm in a shit tone of pain I still try to dress decently

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Even though I'm in a shit tone of pain I still try to dress decently. Once we were both ready mickey helped me down the stairs. I saw that everyone was home.

"oh how come everyones home it's Wednesday" everyone looked at me like I was fucking dumb. "what?" I ask genuinely Confused. "it's thanks giving in a week we have 2 weeks off school" oh shit it's already that time of the year wow.

"well do you have a work fiona" she shakes her head. "I have 3 days off and also thanksgiving" i just nod at her. "have you guys seen monica in the last 4 days" I ask them and they all look at eachother before looking at me. "um that brain hemorrhage got worse and she passed away last night we went to the hospital and said our goodbyes we didn't want to wake you up so we just went without " my face drops.

My mother just died last night and I didn't get to say goodbye because I was to heavily pregnant to go to the hospital. I didn't know how to feel my mothers passed away which makes me sad I didn't get to say goodbye because my siblings couldn't be bother to wake me up which makes me mad but I feel kinda of happy she's gone she ruined my life completely and I didn't want her around when I gave birth.

My emotions right now was one big roller-coaster ride. "babe are you OK" I look at mickey before shrugging "how do you feel about it." he asks once again. "I don't know I'm sad obviously I'm mad no one could be bothered to get me up so I could say bye but in kinda happy she's not around to see me give birth" the look on mickeys face indicated that he was shocked about my last comment.

He just put an arm around me and led me Into the living room where I sat on the couch with my legs crossed. My head was spinning full off thoughts and emotions I couldn't control. My mom is a no show dead beat run away who ruined my life and doesn't deserve a single tear drop yet I wanted to cry. I wanted to mourn a woman who didn't care or love me.

I jump as a warm hand lands on my back. "it's only me baby. I'm going next door going to see how everything is working out" I nod and he leaves through the front door.

I rub onto my stomach as I feel my son kick. I don't realise that a tear was rolling down my face until it landed on my stomach.

"your really crying over that pathetic excuse of a mother." I look up to see them all staring at me lip had his arms crossed looking at me like I was stupid.

I shrug at him. "yeah she was a fucking dead beat but she was still my mom she ruined my life but without her I wouldn't be the girl I am today id still be that chubby little shy girl with a pathetic life without her I wouldn't have even slept with half the guys I did and that experience took me out of my rebel days and made me meet the man that I love the man who's child I'm carrying her being a dead beat just Inspires me to be the best mom I possibly can be to kozak her being a dead beat make me determined to do better than she ever did " I say as tears flowed down my cheek.

I wipe my tears away. "and I wish that I had the chance to tell her to go fuck herself for leaving us and being a dead best but also thank her because the trauma that she puts me through just makes me want to be the best mom that I could ever be that her being a dead beat means I'd never be one myself "

I look at them with my eyes that were filled with tears. "I get it Taylor ik I'm gay so I'm never gonna have kids like that but I understand where you are coming from" Ian says as he sits next to me and puts a hand on my lower back. I give him a smile

Ian has always been my favourite and I don't hide it. But no one can be mad cause known of them make an effort to even bother to have a basic conversation with me. I don't remember the last time I had a 1-1 conversation with lip. Every time he speaks to me it's always something rude or snarky. Fiona hates me ever since I got with mickey and it doesn't help that I fell pregnant as well. Carl and Debbie are to young. Carl has an attitude problem and all he wants to do is blow shit up which I can't do cause I'm to pregnant. And Debbie only wants to play with her stupid dolls which I hate.

The front door opens again and in walked the love of my life. I give him a smile. "hey what's wrong" I shake my head as he come Infront of me and wipes my eyes with his thumb before giving me a soft kiss.

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear before kissing my forehead. I love him so much. He sits on the other side of me and I rest my head on his chest. "I can't wait for this baby to be out" I blurt out making mickey laugh a bit. "me too baby me too" mickey says as he strokes my hair. I'm hoping baby Zak will come soon and quick cause I'm tired of being in pain and pregnant.

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