Arylie- OS/TS/SS

Can We Be Together Again? (Imlie's POV) (SS-2)

20th August,2022

It has been 5 years of separation between me and Aryan. I am living here with my Amma working in Pagdandiya Ujala as a reporter. Am I happy with this work of mine? No. Why am I doing it? Because I don't want to go to that city which gave me nothing but pain, sheer pain! My life has been revolving around 3 things all these years. First, my Amma. Second, my work and third.... Third one is an unwanted one. I don't want to do it but it happens and I just can't control. The person whom I trusted the most, with whom I had a sense of security ousted me from my house for a mistake I didn't do deliberately. He must be having no effect but here, my life has become no less than hell.

I am restricted from going to my Sita Maiyya just because my husband left me. I am treated as an abandoned person. I am no more that extrovert Imlie who used to befriend everyone and anyone because the friend I trusted the most blamed me of killing our child...oh no HIS child. After being assured that I am not merely a child producing machine, I got ousted just because I had a miscarriage. My amma tries her best to not let any negativity approach me but her efforts are not much fruitful. And now I don't even have the will and power to fight and go around proving myself. I have had enough. I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I do my work, come home, have my food, complete any remaining work and sleep and then just repeat this routine like a robot.

Few days ago, it was our wedding anniversary. I don't know why I still wear the sindoor. My hands tremble every morning while applying it yet I can't stop myself from doing so. After an unsuccessful marriage and after all the allegations filled life, I had finally got a relationship where I was respected without any discrimination, where I was allowed to speak and take my own decisions. But why was all of this done if I had to be left like this one day. Why did I get false hopes of not being blamed again?

Sometimes I wonder, what if he has married BD already? What if he has married someone else? My heart aches at the mere thought of it. I sometimes think of going back and see what all is happening in the Rathore mansion. But I can't explain to myself that why do I even want to go there. I don't have any answer to this question. Its been long and I have not seen any of his interview on the channel or in the newspaper. He is not seen in any public events too. Its been years since he has made any public appearance and that worries me. But why do I need to worry? Why does it bother to me? Probably because of this vermillion on my head, this nuptial chain around my neck. If I am not able to stop wearing these, how can I stop worrying about him?

What if I had stayed back that day? What would have been our life then? Was I too egoistic? But how could I have stayed knowing I would remind him of this pain everyday? What if I had not run upstairs? But how could I not knowing that Gudiya could fall. That didn't mean I didn't trust Aryan. It was just an instinctive act. I would have stayed there listening to all his taunts or fighting with him if he hadn't asked me to go. He needed to understand that not only he but I too lost my child.

This heart still desires his love and his trust. I want to do something which makes things go back in place, which brings back me and my partner back. I want to make him laugh on my antics all over again. I want to rectify all yhe mistakes. I just want to be with him again and hug him with all right. I have had enough of this hatred and anger. I don't have the energy to conyinue doing so. These 5 years have taken enough toll on me.

Can we ever be together again sita maiyya? Is it too much to expect? I miss him honestly. I miss my boss babu, my akadbagga, my ABP and most importantly my Aryan. I never expected my life to be too dependent on someone that it would become a punishment to live without him. Should I call him or anyone else in the house? Should I try to take the first step Sita Maiyya. Should I.....???