Vivienne

0.

Vivienne's Pov.

Laughing, I ran to my mother who is preparing some salad in the kitchen.
„Мама! Смотри что я сделала! Она прекрасна не так ли?" I asked her, holding my Barbie doll in my hands. I made her hair and stitched her a new dress. It's not my best one, but I'm still proud of it.

(Mom! Look what I made)

"Да милая, ту у меня очень талантлива." She smiles up at me. Embarrassment flushed my cheeks as I hid them in my hands. I'm not used to praising since mom is always very busy. But I welcome it every time.

(Yes sweetheart, you are very talented.)

My dream is to become a designer. I want to make dresses that will make people love themselves no matter how they look. Even though I still make dresses for my dolls, someday I will make my first dress for my beloved mother. But she doesn't know that. That's what makes it special.

Giggling I went back to my room and began my next design. Grabbing a pencil and plain white paper, I drew every inspiration that came to my young mind.
I didn't realise how much time has passed, so when I was done I took my paper and ran down the stairs. Being very impatient, I searched for my mom all around the kitchen. When I was passing the hall leading to the living room I heard some strange voices coming from the couch.
When I turned around I was taken aback.

I don't quite understand why mama was screaming at the strange man on top of her.

Neither did I understand why they were both naked.

I thought being naked around the house is inappropriate. That's what mama told me so I would get dressed after baths.
The man I saw was a stranger to me. Why is he on top of mama? Why are they grunting like they're riding a bike up the hill? I feel very uncomfortable. I think I should go back upstairs.

Turning around I tried to run away as quietly as I can but, something caught my leg and I fell, hard on my nose. Sadly I made the vase mama loved so much, fall to the ground. It shattered across the wooden floor and then everything became quiet. I slowly sat on my knees and touched my nose slightly, all I felt was a strange liquid running down. It did hurt a little.

"Whose kid is that?" I hear the voice behind me. Chills ran down my back. His voice is so terrifying...
The man who was on top of mama held a strange black thing and pointed at me. I got a glimpse of my mom, covering herself with a blanket and staring at me with a horrible expression. Tears came up my eyes because of her reaction.

Why is she staring at me like that? Did I do something wrong? I'm so sorry mom. I didn't mean it.

I was about to let my tears fall but then my mother began screaming.

"Don't touch her!"
"She's yours I swear"
"Please let her be.."
"No, I'm sorry I ran away I just, was so scared.."

What? Did mama run away? But..I thought she would never run away from anything. My mother is brave. That's what I always believed in.

But right now, seeing her begging a man to spare my life, naked and with tears running down her cheeks.
My belief was shattered into million pieces.

My mother was never brave. She was terrified.

The man didn't look at her. Instead, he put the black thingy away and grabbed my arm. My first instinct was to scream because of the pain he inflicted. But this time I just stayed quiet with my eyes shut.
After a few seconds, he finally found what he's been searching for on my neck. He then let my arm go but took my chin in his hand, turning it to the right side.
I think he just wants a better look.

My lungs feel too small. I don't get enough air, even though I'm breathing just fine. My hands are trembling. I've never experienced something like this. But I'm worried, very much worried right now. And scared.

Why is he taking so long?
Why is mom so quiet?
Let me go
Let me go
Let. Me. Go

My breathing started to hitch and the tears I'd been holding run effortlessly down my cheeks.

I'm so scared I'm so scared I just want my mom, please mom do something. Tell him to let me go. Push him off. Please, anything mom. Anything. I just want to be by my mom.

The man finally lets me go. I fall to the ground, shaking and crying. I hold my hands around me for comfort, like I've been doing when mom wasn't home at night. It does help a bit but not enough to stop the weird tingling sensation in my chest.

I'm breathing very fast, and I worry about it. That's not normal, right? I've seen people do it on television but it never ends well. What have they been calling it? Panic? Picking? I think the first one fits better.

I'm confident, that I'm very much panicking right now. At least I know what's happening to me.

"She's mine? And you birthed a daughter instead of a son? You disappointed me, Fiona" he shakes his head. Disappointed because of my sex? I don't understand, what difference does it make if I'm a girl instead of a boy?

"You will birth me a son. I don't care how long that will take. Take your shit, and meet me outside. Don't you dare to run away again or I'm putting a bullet between your eyes."

What's a bullet?

My mother looks relieved but still scared. Terrified even. The man looks at me angrily. I look at him in response.

"You better be worthy of being called my child."

With that, he took a shirt, probably his, and slammed our door shut.

Once he was out, I began to cry loudly into my mother's shoulder. She pats my head and rocks me back and forth. Telling me nice things to calm me down. I missed her like this. I missed being close to her. But what happened just a minute ago was gruesome.

Slowly she takes us up the stairs and puts me down on her bed. Mostly where I'm sleeping alone.

"Милая моя послушай маму. Туда где мы идём, есть очень много правил для тебя. Никогда не показывай страх, никогда не плачь. Держи свою голову вверх с гордостью для мамы, ладно?" Her eyes watered as she said those words to me as if she is saying goodbye for a very long time.

I simply nod.

(Sweetheart listen to mama. There where we are going, are very many rules for you. Don't show fear, and never cry. Hold your head up high with pride for mama, alright?)

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a

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