Camp Eden | JJK

22: THEN

TWENTY TWO
then
seven years ago

       I STARED AT the dinner menu written in red, white, and blue chalk in the chatty mess hall. Burgers, watermelon and blueberries, pudding. Gross.

Jungkook stood beside me, because clearly, we were pretty inseparable. "Even I'm starting to get sick of the pudding." He shuddered. "And that's saying something."

"You don't want to eat mine?"

He grimaced, scrunched up his nose and shook his head. "No thanks, Skye."

I had just grinned like some foolish lovesick girl, loving the way he looked when he did that. Loving the way he said my name in nearly all of his sentences. Loving him.

It was so preposterous to think about. How, when looking at a gross menu with Jungkook merely just standing beside me, I had realized at the ripe age of sixteen, that I was so fucking in love with him.

And maybe I had been for a while. Maybe I'd fallen in love the night he first kissed me. Maybe I fell in love little by little with every phone call over the school year. Maybe I fell in love with Jungkook the day he told me he'd compliment me everyday, the day he told me I was beautiful for the first time.

I didn't know much about love. But I watched Jungkook grab his lunch, watched him inhale his food across from me and watch him ramble about anything and everything, and I knew. I knew that whatever feeling was bubbling in the depths of my stomach was love.

And it had to be, because I was certain that no other person would ever make me feel the way Jungkook did.

After dinner ended, everyone walked over to the nearby beach to watch the fourth of July fireworks the camp had set up. Last year, they'd done sparklers. The year before that, they had done a campfire. This year, they were doing fireworks over the lake.

By the shore, it was colder than I had anticipated. Jungkook had seen me rubbing my arms and asked me, "Are you cold?" I didn't get to answer him before he was already tearing off his jacket and wrapping it around me.

I was staring at him as he did that, reveling in the idea of loving him. He had this concentrated look on his face as he wrapped his black jacket around my shoulders, and I watched him. I watched the furrow of his brows, watched the way he gnawed at his bottom lip, watched the way his cheeks would turn a light hue of pink.

I could've said it right then and there. Three words that'd probably change everything. I could've just burst out and said, "I love you," right? I could've.

But I didn't.

And I didn't know that I'd regret it for years after.

"Let's go. They're starting."

Fireworks had been great. Lying in the sandy beach and watching the explosions reflect off the surface of the lake. It was amazing. Campers and counselors spending time together, sparklers being passed around and laughter being passed too.

Jungkook and I stayed in our little corner. We always did. It was so natural. I almost felt bad to be containing him, almost felt bad for the way I felt like maybe I was restricting him from making any new friends or new memories. But even if I had let him go, Jungkook wouldn't have anyway. There was no other place he'd rather be than with his head in my lap and my fingers in his hair as we watched the pretty fireworks shoot up in the sky.

The entire night, he'd been pretty quiet. Usually, I was the quiet one. He was only quiet when he was upset or nervous. As I played with his hair, I asked him, "What are you thinking about?"