Goal: A Normal Life

Seventy

"What do you think about us?" Claude asked while staring directly at me.

"..What do you mean?" I asked.

"Our feelings for you, Ivy." He confessed.

I then stopped, and look at them. I..completely forgot about that for a moment there. 

"..Are you truly sure about what you guys said?"

"Yes."

"...*sigh* I- I can't return your feelings. But before you jump to conclusions, it's because I don't know what love is." I said.

"I've told you before that my training started when I was just six. Do you think that a parent that loved their child would put them into that hardship? I hardly think so. It's a pain in the ass to explain but I know I have a low emotional quotient or emotional intelligence, whichever you prefer. No one taught me how to express feelings aside from anger, and approval. I only learned how to be happy in a way, how to care..somewhat?..and how to be disgusted, during college." I explained.

"It's fine..we already knew that you didn't love us," Claude said with a downturned smile.

" And yet..you still confessed?" I asked, confused.

"It's better to know where we stand with you, if you haven't developed any feelings for us then we have to try a lot harder. " Raven responded and sat behind me to drape his arms around my shoulders and pull me into a hug.

"I'm really not convinced, aren't you not supposed to be interested in women?" I asked, remembering about the online forum. 

"Some of us haven't dated a woman but that doesn't mean we can't be attracted to them. ..Though it is true at a point since in my case, the only woman I've taken an interest in is you." Vincenzo replied.

I nodded my head as I understood but they still seemed to be sulking.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better..I, for some reason, don't like it when you are all around Rosia? It's truly odd and I'm still trying to figure out why."  

"Wait..you don't like us around her? can you elaborate on that??" Demetrius asked.

"Hmm..I suppose I feel mad? like my heart just clenches in an uncomfortable way and my stomach churns bitterly." I explained while standing up and thinking.

Out of nowhere, Heinrich pounced on me making me lose balance and land on the bean bag. If that weren't there, we would be on the floor and I'd be kicking him in his ass for possibly giving me a bruise.

He cheered that There was a chance happily and bounced on the floor. I raised my brow at him and turned to ask them if he was alright but then they were all stumped. Again, oddly enough, it was in a good way.

"Alright, Alright, now let's finish eating. I want to go back home." I said and they listened and went back to eating but now, there was a more positive atmosphere around them and it sort of made me..joyful inside. It was weird but comforting.

. . .

"Ivy!"

'..What?'

"Ivy!!"

'Who the fuck is calling me?'

"I'm not Ivy! You know I can't do it!"

'..Is that my voice?'

" I can't do it! I SAID I CAN'T! "

" Everline, wake up!" 

I opened my eyes to see Claude gripping both sides of my shoulders.