YOU

You and I

It's complicated.

It was the simplest thing he could use to describe his life now even if  'complicated' doesn't even begin to cover the tip of the iceberg.

Kongpob knew it was hard to simply forgive and forget the years of emotional torture that he had put through his best friend. Or, can he still call Arthit his best friend after everything that he did? Does the younger still consider him as such? Forgiving someone takes time. And sometimes, he knew it doesn't at all. He wasn't prepared for the latter option but he was ready to grovel at the pale man's feet and do everything in his powers even though he knew he was in the wrong.

He was stupid and impulsive. He was insecure. And he still is. Because who was he compared to Arthit Rojnapat? But Kongpob knew better now. It wasn't a one-person decision to begin with.

So, after unintentionally revealing himself to his soulmate, Kongpob was honestly surprised that the younger had wanted him back in his life on the get-go. There wasn't any hesitation when the pale lad had uttered the words for him to stay...had told him that he missed him...had told him that he loved him. It stupified him that the younger had easily offered his home and told him... no, demanded him to live with him. 

And yet the older man saw the clear anguish and anger still written across the younger's face as he said those words.

It placed Kongpob in a conflict. He knew that living with the man that he had hurt would turn into a disaster. Kongpob was sure of it. Arthit doesn't trust him. Because that trust and friendship that they had built when they were kids were gone. And he knew, it was all because of him. There's no doubt that they'll fight, scream, and be at each other's throats. Tears would be shed and words that are meant to hurt will be hurled at each other. The tan male was positive that it would only put a strain on their already lost relationship.

And yet, he had done too much damage already by acting on his own. Even the logical part of his brain was telling him to contest the idea, but his heart was telling him to agree with Arthit. Kongpob wanted oh so badly to touch the pale man, to feel that heat and soft skin beneath his fingertips. But he didn't know if he was allowed to. He doesn't want to initiate anything for the fear of crossing the imaginary boundaries that the younger had set between the two of them.

There was that an undeniable pull again. A pull so strong coming from the black mark etched on top of his skin. The need to be in each other's presence, to breathe the same air, to know that their soulmate was near, whole, and within arm's reach... It was drawing him in like a magnet! 

And it pains him that it's their soul marks that are causing Arthit to react this way. Kongpob's heart aches that it may be the only reason why his soulmate wanted him close... to ease the pain, and not because Arthit actually wanted his presence. 

It also didn't take them much time to realize that their soulbond was also different. It was already uncommon that they could already see and feel each other even without acknowledging their connection before. Arthit had sometimes seen what he was seeing and even felt what he was feeling whenever he was reacting to something excessively. And this went both ways too as Kongpob also experienced this. It was unheard of. It was one in a million. It was them.

And after they had shared their first kiss, sealed the deal, and accepted each other as soulmates, their bond only bloomed more like spring's day. And now the two of them were even more attuned to each other. It was like they've become one. They could sense each other more...feel each other's emotions more. And with that, the only thing that Kongpob wanted to do was to erase all the pain that his soulmate was feeling because of him. But it was also because of this that made his guilt even bigger than before. Arthit, his other half, was perfect. The younger man was hurt but he was oh so trying his best to understand the elder's reasoning. He knew that Arthit wants to move past this hurdle. The idol wants to start anew with his founded soulmate. Arthit wasn't shutting him out like he had expected him to, and it was putting him off balance.