Groundhogs

Chapter 5: Mistaken

I'd grown to believe we're our own greatest liars. With truth swinging tauntingly in the forefront of our minds, lies jumped and became truth. With Ottalina shoulder to shoulder with me, as we walked Twent's unpopulated boardwalk searching for our own love, I remembered I'm searching for something that hasn't been lost. Jenn was somewhere back home walking aimlessly, or walking with intent, but surely without thought of me. But I loved her, and I was sure I couldn't replicate such feelings again.

"Okay, so where exactly did you meet her?"
"What? Oh. We met down there."

Ottalina walked ahead and I followed a few steps behind. She stood in front of a small ice cream stand that was boarded up for the winter. A small neon sign leaning against the stand flickered across her face as she turned toward me.

"Sort of a shitty place to meet," she said.

For a moment my knees shivered as the winter air pressed softly against my dry skin. She dropped her head to the side and looked at me puzzlingly. Her hair escaped her hoodie and danced among her eyes. Like the view of a dream revealed from the curtains of a bay window somewhere beautiful, her eyes appeared and disappeared and appeared again.

"Free?"
"Yeah."
"Is this the place?"
"Yeah, sorry, yeah."
"Thinking about Jenn?"
"Honestly?"
"Always."
"I thought I saw her again. When you— When I looked at that stand again, and that shitty sign, I thought I saw her."
"I don't think I've seen ghosts in the sky, so this is new territory for me."
"Funny."
"I thought you were forgetting her. How can you help if you're still hung up?"
"I am forgetting her. I can't remember the curves of her jaw or her mouth. I can't remember her voice, and I can't remember her laugh."
"But you're thinking of her?"
"I've never wanted to forget her. But I'm beginning to."
"I wish I could have your memory."
"Why?"
"I'm sure you've forgotten some things you never wanted to remember. You wouldn't know it, but I'm sure there are."
"I guess you're right. Yeah."
"I still remember."

Ottalina walked closer and placed her hands on my shoulder. She leaned closed and pointed her head toward a club a street over. Lights and music pulsated through the concrete beneath our feet. She grabbed my hand, checked her surroundings, and quickly launched us to the back door.

"I thought we were keeping a low profile?"
"Free, it's cool."
"You wanna go clubbing?"
"Imelda wrote that she met her love at a club. And I'm sure you've went clubbing with Jenn before right?"
"Yeah, I guess that's true."
"Then let's go!"

We slipped through the back door of the club, passing security guards as Ottalina held onto my shoulder as if she was impersonating a partner for the night.