Idiots to lovers

5. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 "𝐒𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜"

TW: mention of blood, addict, self/others harm and sharp things

Good morning/good night/good afternoon/etc
This chapter is about Lilith's past, there is no Kai in it so if you skip it it doesn't affect anything, I wrote this chapter so you guys will understand Lil more<3

𝖫𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗁'𝗌 𝗉𝗈𝗏 𝗂𝗇 1863

It's November 1. in the morning
Stefan's and my birthday, we're going to be 16 years old today

I hear footsteps in the corridor,
it's sounds like it mom's
Dad's are usually louder and harsher

Mom is the typicall soft parent who always care about her children, she never hit me and she was always kind with me
She was the only person in the world who cared about me
Even my own brothers use to leave me out of things
But they aren't as bad as dad

I always used to defend him whenever mom and my siblings talked about him behind his back
They always said he's horrible and we should leave him, mom said she's waiting for the right time to leave him with us

My brothers used to want everything at the same time; still live in our house without dad and do whatever they want whenever they want but on the other hand I always wanted only one thing in my whole life; be loved by him
I didn't care if I have to live with his stupid rules or take care of him like mom use to

But it doesn't matter; how much I cleaned the whole house, cooked him a full meal or tell him how greatful I am to be born; which is actually not true

I tried everything to get his attention, I even kept safe his secret, but last night I finally realised that he doesn't give a fuck about me

He even cheated on mom with another woman
Mary have a daughter in the same age as I am and 3 years old twins
This is his secret

He cheating on mom since I was born, I don't really care that he cheats but the fact that he thinks about Mary's daughter like he supposed to think about me is making me feel disappointed in myself

It makes me think I'm not good enough for him or anyone else

I try to be better than her since the day I found out how my father thinks about Juliette
But I had enough about the burning pain in my chest everyday I wake up and see that dad is talking with her like he supposed to talk with me
And I had enough about cut up my veins because I thought I deserve more pain than they give me

I stand up from my bed and dress up so I can start the day

But of course I know it's actually about Stefan and not me
Nobody give a damn about me
I never be as good as her

And last night I accepted it while stalking them and seeing how thight my father hugged her and told her how he loves Juliette at the same time I tried to remember the last time he hugged me or told me he loves me

The pain that I felt when I realised he never even hugged or told me he loves me was harshly the worst of all

As I'm runing down on the stairs I see that my dad in his office with the door open

It's weird cause it's always locked, even mom doesn't go in just every once in a while

I decided to greet him with a fake smile
"Good morning, dad"

He slowly look up at me, coldness in his eyes
"Morning, daugther"
He says and then turn back to his paper work

I start smiling as I keep walk to the kitchen, but my smile fades away as I remember I'm going to murder him and he's new little family