Unseen but brightly burning

A rainy day

                        ~Lillian Davies~

Cyrenaicism deduces a single, universal aim for all people which is pleasure. Furthermore, all feeling is momentary and homogeneous. It follows that past and future pleasure have no real existence for us, and that among present pleasures there is no distinction of kind.

I read a book about worldly pleasure. The conclusion was all feeling is momentary. That means I won't get the pleasure of living in crave for everyday. But I want to feel it even though it's temporary. Even for one day.  

I want to be at peace even if its just for one freaking day. No actually I would like to die. Maybe or maybe not. I don't understand my feelings,myself.

Okay the reason I am thinking so much about peace or yada yada-it's because I have been walking in the rain in the middle of the winter. Why does it even rain on winter? It isn't even snowing. I am drenched. Totally. I am going to catch a cold I can feel it in my bones or muscles. Who am I kidding? I don't have muscles. Those are fat. I can feel the cold in my fat.

For some reason, I am not annoyed at the rain anymore. I was at first but not anymore. I forgive easily.

There are no humans at my sight. Just a few cars passing by slowly in the road. I felt comfortable even with the clothes that was sticking itself to my body like a chewing gum.

I walked more slowly. Well,usually I am a slow walker but now I am breaking my own record for being so slow.

I looked up at the sky and instantly it started to rain more hard as if the rain wanted to slap me in the face. I closed my eyes and laughed. Why am I so funny?

I looked at my front now blinking away the water from my eyes. Oh my, my eyes feels so heavy right now. I could sleep in the streets right now.

I wonder if dad and Krissy is at home. My brother hates the name "Krissy".His actual name is Kristopher Davies. What a royal and a lengthy name! His name is beautiful I agree. But its so long why can't he understand?I am just doing a favor to my lungs by calling him Krissy.

Speaking of my lungs, I really should be going home now. I don't want to breathe like a donkey for the rest of the week. I mean no offense, donkeys are really cute.

I walked as the same pace as before not moving a little faster even though I just told myself I should be getting home. I am hungry. I can feel the hunger in my blood and in my fat.

It's really raining heavily. Thinking of my dad's concerned face,I tried to walk faster. And I can tell I was walking a bit faster now. (I meant my usual speed)

No longer after I started walking faster, I was infront of the playground which is just ten minutes away from my house.

Seeing the swings empty, I did a little yipee dance. I walked over to one of the swings and sat down happily. As I was swinging myself back and forth,I noticed a pair of eyes looking at me. It was more like judging me. He was sitting at the top of the slide taking shelter.Who is he to judge me? Um, maybe he wasn't judging me. I was just paranoid I guess. I looked away from him.

Is he still judging me? I mean staring at me? I can just take a peek. I took a peek slowly and duh, he was still staring. Peek-a-boo I caught you(I always wanted to say this hihi.) I looked at him again. Was he a pervert?But he looked pretty in my rainy vision. Maybe he is a pretty pervert. I should seriously go home before I get myself into trouble.
 

I stood up from the swing  despite wanting to stay. The swing pushed my butt away from itself. I turned back and glared at it. "I am going home,okay? You don't need to spank me. I am a good kid." I whisper yelled at the swing.

I started to walk but instantly came to a stop when the guy at the top of the slide yelled at me."Hey!"

I looked a him . I mean tried to look up at him while the rain made my eyes heavier.

"Hey!Didn't you hear me?" he screamed now. What a weirdo!

"Yeah, I heard you."I shouted back.

"Do you live around here or something? You are totally soaked.You are going to catcha cold." He yelled furrowing his brows. As if I didn't know I am going to catch a cold. I am really shivering. Drenching myself in the rain was a bad idea. No no It was a good idea actually. I feel sleepy which is good.

"That's why I am going home now. Are you not sliding down? Are you planning to sit there all day? I bet your butt is freezing!" I yelled back biting back a laughter thinking about his butt. Was his butt pretty? It must be since he looked pretty in my rainy vision.

"Yeah,you bet!"

"You should slide down quickly and run to your house if you don't want to freeze to death. I am going now."

"I can see through your dress!"

What? I am weaing a sweater and he can see through my dress that's beneath my sweater? And why did he change the subject from running to house to seeing my body?

"I can see through your pants too,YOU PERVERT!" I shouted at him and stormed off from there, People like him don't deserve a conversation.