grown apart and we're so far gone but i'm waving the white flag sending my love back, move on
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everyday felt familiar. kit and i would fight constantly to the point where our normal conversations were rare. it was hard to talk about anything else, and most nights, we'd go to sleep angry at each other. either that or ignoring each other's texts on purpose.
we'd wake up and start the same cycle. i would stay up long nights contemplating texting him to end things off, but i wasn't ready.
i would walk in the hallways and kit would ignore me, but other times he'd walk me to class. he was sending me mixed signals and i was so sick of it. i understood that our honeymoon phase was over, but we barely could cooperate with each other.
my thoughts were interrupted until the bell rang signaling the day was over. i grabbed my books and rushed out, desperately just wanting to get away from the crowd swarming the hallways.
i always see kit come out his class because his was right across the hallway from mine. i had hope that he would walk with me instead of his obnoxious friends. and to my surprise, he chose me instead.
"hey." he said, sending me a quick smile. i look at him and feel like i fell in love all over again. that's the problem. one look at him can make me forget about all of our arguments. other times i just want to punch his perfect face.
"mind if i walked you home?" he said i nodded and sent him a smile.
he held the school door open for me, as i said a quick thank you. "i'm surprised you're walking with me." i said, kind of joking. not really.
kit furrowed his eyebrows. "what?" he said
here it comes. "you barely walk with me. it's always your friends you choose to hang with." i said.
kit scoffed. "cause i'm usually practicing with them. how many times do i need to tell you this." kit said
"am i not a priority to you? it's been like three weeks since you walked me home. am i only convenient when your friends are busy doing other things?" i said
"i don't have time for this." kit said.
if he wasn't going to fix any of our problems, i might as well do it myself. i stopped walking and kit turned around.
"no i'm seriously drained kit. this is the same argument and nothing ever changes. you push it to the side and we repeat the same words everyday. i'm so sick of it." i say, feeling a huge lump in my throat.
kit stares at me and his face drops a bit. "we cannot keep doing this. we don't even say goodnight to each other anymore. i can't even talk to you at school cause of your stupid friends!" i say
"we should just..break it off." i say, feeling a warm stream of tears fall on my cheeks. i felt terrible. my knees were weak and i felt so ill. this is what i was most afraid of, but i had to let him go.
"what?" kit said in a low tone.
i sighed. "we've grown apart."
i looked down at my shoes. if i looked at him, i knew i would just want to run back to him.
"we need to move on." i took in a deep breath, and lifted my chin up.
"goodbye. get home safe." i said. i walked past him and felt more tears coming.
i got home and tried to get every emotion out of my system. i felt so alone and fragile.
