The Angel and The Crow~Mother Miranda x OC

Explanation/Life

After I took her pain from her, Miranda didn't utter a word again, but I could constantly feel her icy stare upon my broken body, digging into my very soul from outward in. I knew that she likely wanted nothing more than to ask about what I had done, or perhaps why I had done it, but I had no clear answer for her, should she ask. Not even I knew why I felt such a desire to help her, or why I had protected her from those foul beasts. I had almost lost my wings and life because of that stupidity, and Miranda likely wanted to study me more than ever, now knowing that I was unlike likely any creature she had ever come across during her long lifespan. But even if I wanted to, now that I thought about it, allowing her to resurrect her child with my blood was unsafe, and could create chaos that neither one of us were prepared for, or that we would be able to stop.

I slowly sat up after what felt like hours, my body still aching quite badly, and sighed, turning my head to look at her, her face snapping to the side as I caught her watching me, her blonde hair flashing in the light, her sharp cheekbones tinted with a rosy hue. "It is alright if you want to ask me about it, Miranda.. I do not like speaking of it, but it cannot be helped, now that I have shown you things that no one aside from people such as me have ever seen before. I owe you that much, at least.. I know you must be curious." Her face slowly turned back towards me, those entrancing eyes peering into mine, a frown etched across her lips, before she replied, "Yes. I suppose it would be best to know more about you, though you owe me nothing, pet." I flinched, seeing we were back to using such names, which hurt more than I cared to admit to myself. Any time I began breaking through her walls, I was once again shut out, barred from knowing her, no matter what glimpses I had seen.

I clenched my jaw, and lowered my gaze, digging my nails into my palms, feeling angry that I was going to open myself to her, telling her secrets none knew save for a few, yet she would not do the same for me. Perhaps allowing her to know the truth would show her that she had nothing to fear from doing the same with me, but I highly doubted that, not that it mattered. Soon enough, I would not even be in the same building as her, and we would part ways for however long we would continue to exist in that cold and dark place between happiness and darkness, a void that could swallow us whole. "Alright, then- I come from a place not far from here, though well hidden from outsiders, and I was what some might call a position of power. My- I had a lover, who ruled beside me, and of course, as you might expect, after a while, Evan was born to us, and we were happy."

I took deep, shaking breaths, my muscles tensing up, as I continued. "At least, I thought that we were happy, but that was all a ruse. I truly had no idea just how wrong I was, or how deep within the darkness my lover had fallen, nor how much he truly hated me for my power. He and his fellow traitors were plotting my demise behind my back, you see, along with Evan, for if I were to die, he would rule in my place, and that, they could not allow. So, one night, after we had all gone to bed, my lover snuck away into the night, but did not stay away- He came back with his friends, and they set fire to our home while Evan and I slept, trapping us inside. I did everything within my power to save him, but I- I lost my child, just as you did. I regret that I did not die with him with every breath, and I miss him more than I can ever say. He was my entire world, and when I tried to return home, I was banished. My lover and his friends rule that place now, and no one believes my words when I speak the truth, so I no longer belong there. We are what some may call angels, though we reside far from Heaven, and as my story has told you, some of us are far more cruel than any Devil."

Hot tears slid down my face, stinging and burning, my heart wrenching in agony. "So, the things you have done to me here are nothing compared to what I have been through. I am not afraid of you, nor will I ever be." Silence stretched on ominously after I finished speaking, until Miranda finally spoke, saying, "I see." That was all she said to me, and I felt my heart sink into my stomach. So, she truly did not care? I don't know what I had wanted from her, but it was not that answer. I had expected at least a little more compassion, but I had been foolish to believe that one moment of weakness where she had saved me, then promised to let me go free meant anything more than a lie to her. She had used my emotions to get me to speak my secrets, and I had fallen for it. My body slumped in defeat at that realization, and I wordlessly walked to the cage that she enjoyed keeping me in, climbing inside of it without hesitation, and curled up, no longer wanting to escape.

The realization that no one in the world cared for me at all drained what little energy I had left from my body and mind, and it didn't matter what happened to me after that moment. Whatever happened to me next, I would not fight it, or try to break free, but accept it. Perhaps my lover had been right- He had once called me a monster, and a threat to our people, but perhaps I had been blind to seeing that for so many years. And if he was right, what then? That would mean that I had been the cause of my own son's demise, and that sent shockwaves of agony through my entire being, twisting inside my heart with a vengeance. What was I? Where did I belong? Had I been tricking myself the entire time? Perhaps I had never taken the time to look at myself from that perspective, and had played the righteous being for so long, that I had come to believe my own lie.

If that were the truth, then I belonged inside of that cage, and, more than that, I deserved to burn in the fires of Hell for what I had done. A mother responsible for her child's death? And how many more had been burned alive when that fire spread from our home to the next? How much blood was truly on my hands? I would likely never know, but it didn't matter. All that mattered to me was that I had no idea who I had been or when I had become such a horrible beast. I had murdered dozens of enemies who attacked our home so long ago, and banished my own parents when they had attempted to murder my lover- That most assuredly meant that I was far from the saint I had perceived myself as, even if I had attempted to do such things for the right reasons..

I stayed silent, faintly hearing Miranda saying something from what seemed to be far away, but what did that matter? Anything she said to me would not be important, for I was a monster walking in a beautiful skin, destroying the lives and dreams of the innocent, and I would suffer whatever she wished to do with me. Perhaps she could find some use for a waste such as myself, as a maid or even as an attack dog, finishing off her enemies for her. That was all the good I could do, being the fiend I now believed myself to have been since the wretched day that I was born. I did not deserve to be free, or to ruin more lives, cutting them short, when they deserved to continue in peace and happiness, left alone with their hopes and laughter. They were in a place that I could no longer reach, inside of a light that I could not touch, for fear it would burn the darkness within and destroy me entirely, damning me to face my deeds even more.