Charlie and Me

Chapter Eight

The house was empty. I guessed dad was at Bernard Manning's and the only thing sticking from the letter box was a Strangeway's visitation order for Mark. The house reeked of dog hair and stale cigarettes, the wallpaper still slowly peeling from the hallway walls with the fridge containing its usual nothing. I'd forgotten how bad this place really was. Kavos was hardly the Maldives but at least it was alive, buzzing with people and showering the night with light. This house was the kind of place where you died in front of your television only to be discovered years later. This house was dead.

I yanked my suitcase up the narrow stairs and onto my single bed. The pictures were old, faded; boy bands that'd long since split. My teenager's bedroom feels like a stranger's. Could I really have spent so many hours here filling a diary I'd never re-read? Chatting with Kelsey about boys from school and hair and make-up? Any connection to that life was now severed.

As for Charlie? It still hurt, more than I'd let myself believe. I worked it over in my mind a thousand times though only now did it truly start to resonate. The sheer reality of this place plummeted me earthwards. The comedown was looming. This was no dream; the view of addicts shooting up on the concrete playground confirming any suspicions I may have had. The all-night party was gone along with the sun, cocktails, romance and Charlie.

On the day of enrollment I finally accepted Charlie and I were over.

My street was a shit-hole compared to the warm sun-drenched shores of Greece, but this wasn't my future. Today I was leaving for a new life. Holidays were meant to stay just that; warm fuzzy memories. Charlie had no place in my life now I was heading for sophistication and security. Dad had already said his goodbye's and left for the pub half an hour ago. My National Express ticket was booked for twelve and I was boarding from the coach station opposite the Arndale Centre.

Sixty minutes to go.

'I'm going to miss you, believe it or not,' Kelsey muttered with her arms folded.

I'd never seen her look awkward before. The front had vanished until all that was left was the real Kelsey. The estate could do its best to wear a person down, harden them against life but underneath we were all still the same. Now she surfaced once more, the little seven-year old I'd played Barbies with.

'You can come and visit anytime you want. I'll send you my student discount card for the ticket.'

'Because we're so like twins!' she said through what looked like tears.

As we hugged, I tried desperately not to cry.

'The second I save up enough at the sandwich shop I'll be on that bus. We need to cause some havoc up there for all the posh kids; yous better not have changed when I get there, though,' she said and punched me playfully on the arm.

This was harder than I ever thought it would be. In the drizzly rain this place wasn't as bad as I remembered. It was my home, not just the buildings and pollution but the people; my people.

Swallowing back the tears, I picked up my case and passed it to the driver before giving Kelsey one last hug. On the wet tarmac I searched my coat pocket for the ticket, hands fumbling for the white card. This was what I want, I just had to remember why. Maybe running away wasn't always the answer; Manchester had some of the best universities in the country and I wouldn't have had to beg for a bursary to help finance the extortionately priced halls.

I took one last look around me and headed to the door. Waving back at Kelsey I saw a figure hurtling through the crowd, waving his arms and shouting my name. My glasses were somewhere below the crap inside my handbag. I squinted hard but just couldn't make out the face.

'Oh my God,' Kelsey said. 'It's Charlie.'

'What's Charlie?' I demanded, already half-way up the steps of the bus. 'Kelsey? What did you do!'

'Do? I didn't do anything!' she shouted up to me.

'Amber!'

Charlie was running towards me at lightning speed. I had to be dreaming; we were in Manchester, he was in Greece.

'Amber,' he said, landing at the foot of the steps. The driver's taken his seat with the engine already roaring to life. 'Don't get on the coach, please. We need to talk.'

Dressed in beach attire, he stuck out a mile in the drizzly Manchester rain. He really was an Adonis; any mere mortal would've tripped and fallen attempting to run in flip-flops.

'Talk? Are you insane? What are you even doing here, you're supposed to be in Greece!'

'I know; I know but I had to come. I couldn't leave it like this between us.'

'How the hell did you find me?'

We both looked at Kelsey.

'It's not my fault! He called me twenty times. I just told him when you were leaving so he'd stop calling. How did I know he'd turn up here?'

It was the most surreal moment of my life. Seeing someone you'd only known under sun-drenched skies in the rain was bizarre enough, and now I could only stare down in disbelief. My life had a plan for the first time, and Charlie was not part of it. He was nothing to me, not anymore.

'Say something,' he begged, his yellow shirt sticking to his skin.

'I'm going to go now.'

I couldn't face him. Not like that. Locating my ticket, I turned my back and headed up the steps.

'Is that it? That's all you've got to say?' Charlie shouted.

'Me?' I replied, turning again, 'you left me waiting at the airport! I believed you and you just left me standing there! I don't know why you're here but I have nothing to say so if you don't mind, my future's waiting.'

'I fell!' he pleaded. 'I fell off George's scooter on the way to the airport and spent the next two days watching the planes take off from my hospital window. I couldn't work, I lost my job; and I'd lost you. I almost asked you to stay that last night, was planning to get you a job at the bar if you'd said yes. No, we don't know each other and yes, I know we're strangers but I can't let you go. I can't surrender our future.'

'What future?'

'The one where we share a house together, have two dogs and go to the Dominican Republic on our tenth wedding anniversary. You haven't left my thoughts once, I've screamed for you to get out of my head but you won't. So I had to see you, I have to know.'

'Know what?'

'If you feel the same. That's why I'm here, Amber. Because I need to know.'