Misuse of Magic

Chapter 4

Just as quickly as we had disapparated, Blaise and I were standing in front of the Three Broomsticks. Apprehensively, I began walking towards the entrance. Charmed to open automatically whenever a wizard or witch approached, the heavy oak doors swung inward and we were greeted with the smell of warm butterbeer.

"Is something wrong?" Blaise asked. He stopped walking and stepped off the main isle of the pub. We had been holding hands and our intertwined fingers had tightened when he had stopped walking. He pulled me towards him gently, slipping his hands under my robe and onto my waist.

"We don't have to have dinner with them tonight," he whispered into my ear. His breath felt warm and comforting. Combined with the steamy warmth of the pub and the smell of fire whiskey, I felt my body relax. Blaise, who was impossibly aware of my feelings, sensed the calmness as it washed over me.  

"Okay," he whispered, pushing his lips into my temple in a reassuring show of affection, "but if you change your mind and you want to go home, just let me know." Smiling, he stepped back towards the main isle and began looking around the pub for Daphne and Ginny. 

I watched Blaise searching for Daphne and Ginny. As always, I was struck by how good looking he was. His black Ministry robes hung open and I could see he was wearing the dark green sweater I had bought him for Christmas over a light grey turtle neck and black slacks. I remembered picking out the sweater, hoping the wool would keep him warm throughout the many spring rainstorms. 

The green and gold in his eyes flickered and shone brightly against his onyx skin. He had laugh lines around his eyes from smiling so much and he had a small scar on his bottom lip from where he chewed on it while he was thinking. I sighed. I loved him and I loved everything that made him, him. 

"Over here!" I heard Daphne shout through the crowd. I felt my body go stiff as I closed my eyes and calculated where Daphne's voice was coming from. I didn't have to turn to see that she was sitting in Draco's booth. In our booth. The booth where he first kissed me. I hesitated as Blaise slid into the booth, hanging his robe over the back of the seat.

"Hermione?" He asked, uncertain, he hand outreached towards me to help me into my seat. I quickly forced a smile and slid into the booth next to him, careful to keep my distance. 

I can't be here, I thought to myself, hadn't I just been in this memory not even half an hour earlier? I could feel myself disassociating. I was aware of Blaise, Daphne, and Ginny sitting in the booth. I could hear their conversation. But I had already left my body. Their voices faded into the background.

Suddenly, I could feel Draco's fingers in my hair. The icy coolness of his lips and the chills that washed over my body as they crashed in to mine. The memory was so real I thought I was back in the Pensieve. I curled my fingers into tight balls and pulled myself out of the memory. 

"Did you enjoy Costa Roca?" I asked, a little too brightly. Daphne smiled, but Ginny rolled her lips in and gave me a concerned look. We had been friends for a long time and she knew me just as well as I knew myself, if not better. I knew I'd have to explain myself to her sooner or later.

"It was wonderful," Daphne said, "the sand at Espadilla south beach was so white..." she trailed off, happy to tell us about the beaches and rainforests she and Ginny had explored over the last two weeks. 

Not too long after they finished their drinks, Daphne and Ginny excused themselves and walked towards the front of the pub to disapparate. Blaise and I stayed in the booth a little while longer, and uncomfortable silence ballooning between the two of us.

"What would you think..." Blaise started, stopping suddenly. He shifted in the booth and turned towards me, taking both of my hands in his. I looked at him, confused, and waited for him to finish his thought. 

"Just... someday..." he stuttered and I could see the thoughts racing across his face as he scrambled to form the right words to communicate them to me, "well, it's just, do you think you would like to get married someday?" The sentence came out all in one breath, a whisper barely audible over the roar of the pub.

"Not now, of course," Blaise said, more confidently. "I mean, I'm not proposing, but I see a future with you. Actually, I can't see a future without you. Is that how you see it?" He looked at me hopefully. 

I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't maintain eye contact and looked down towards my hands stimming in my lap just as my fingers reached up to twist my hair into an anxious knot. Did I want to marry Blaise? The uncertainty must have been obvious on my face. Blaise began to backtrack.

"It's okay," he reassured me, pulling me towards him. "We don't have to talk about this. I didn't mean to catch you off guard." I could tell he meant it. His demeanor hadn't changed. He was still the same warm, loving Blaise I'd walked in to the pub with. He accepted everything I was, uncertainty and all.

I would marry him, I decided, swallowing the memories of Draco. I would have to stop using the Pensieve. I would have to say goodbye to Draco.

But you don't have to say goodbye today, a voice in the back of my head whispered, and you don't have to say goodbye tomorrow either.