Stackie

Chapter?? 1

Why couldn't I breathe? Was Anthony on his way? No, Marc called me earlier and informed me that he wasn't coming. Damnit. I needed Anthony. This is not good.
I could feel my chest tightening and my throat constricting, and my breathing became laboured although I was sitting down.
But why was this the affect of not having Anthony? I mean, we're always going to be friends, and those deep brown eyes feel like home, but I don't understand why it feels like this. It doesn't feel like this when I don't have Chris Evans, so why does it feel like this without Anthony??

I sigh as an assistant clips the microphone to my back waistband, the wire running up the side of my suit and clipping the mic onto the collar. I hated these sometimes. Usually when I didn't have Anthony. Every answer to every question was an internal battle that took just short of an act of god to will up the words to answer. With Anthony, I could talk mostly freely.

I stopped breathing entirely for a moment, and I knew something wasn't right. I've known about the anxiety for a while now but whenever i'm with him it usually doesn't exist. Shit I gotta hear his voice.

I roughly yank out my phone and dial the number from memory, trying not to let the tears gathering in my eyes spill over.
'Sexy seabass, how can I help you this fine afternoon handsome?'
I couldn't breathe still. It hurt so much. Why??
'Seb? You okay?'
"I- I can't breathe."
'Okay, what happened?'
"I have to do an interview and you're not here because you're not involved in the movie."
'Hey. Hey it's alright. If I could hop over there and give you a hug I would but I don't even know what state you're in right now, Seabass.'
The thought of Anthony's hugs finally allowed for my chest to expand and the tears to spill, but I wiped them away immediately, sniffling.
'Are you crying?'
"NO." I rushed to say, realizing my voice was wobbly and weak and it sounded like I definitely was crying.
'Hey. You can talk to me. Has this been happening often? Are you on medication? Do you have a therapist?'
Now that I thought about it, if I wasn't texting, calling, filming, or sitting next to Anthony Mackie, I felt empty and lonely. The thought of him being gone really hurt.
"It happens constantly" The assistant signaled that I had to end the call "Look I have to go but thanks and i'll call you soon."
'Alright. Love you man.'
"Love you too."
I painfully hung up, and pulled my best blank face on. I just needed to pretend Anthony was with me. Alright.
How hard could it be?