my hope.

reflection of the past - 7:00 pm

agreements and joy

"hey, you know how we are snakes in that assembly? well- I think that it would be cool if we pretended to be snakes in stead of tigers today!" i had giggled to BT. -

"that's a great idea! i'll be the older brother! do you want me to find FL, HS, AO, JG, and CF?" he had exclaimed joyfully in reply. -

them.

BT was always happy. he stood up to older, meaner kids who tried to bully. he was my best friend.

HS had funny looking teeth, not that it bothered any of you. he was usually quiet, and talks to FL the most.

AO thought cooties existed, but she'd still always talk to the boys and LOVED making new friends.

JG liked playing sports with me and BT, mostly footy. like HS, he didn't really talk to the others, but was absolute best friends with me and BT!

CF was very loud, but not in a bad way, just very bubbly. like BT, she was ALWAYS joyful.

and FL. the person who i miss most. he was harmlessly charming and flirty, he was kind and always willing to get involved.

he is the reason.

i'll see him soon.

-

manipulative and unfair

returned from a quick trip to the toilet.
why does SHE have MY push-bicycle?
"i was using that. give it back or you aren't going to be my friend."
should i have felt bad? this is the same person that gets up into my personal space, and constantly nags me for things.

was it bad?

-

the day where everything changed. i left behind something so valuable, something that forms a regretful pit in my stomach to this day.

i left behind my
friends
school
town
personality
confidence
my body.
i lost everything i could EVER want.

i used to be so athletic, so confident and happy.

SO I'LL FORM MY HOPE.
i'll relive my past in the present.
with or without him.
a year to fix everything in preparation for my past.
or a year to mourn for my soon to be loss?

only time will tell.