The name on the front page and its description raised a lot of suspicion and curiosity in me. If the owner of this book was David's mother, then who was Amanda? Questions floated around in my head and I knew all the answers would be in this book.
The book dated back to 2007. That was 14 years back. As I shuffled through the pages, I understood that this was not a daily diary. Whoever wrote this didn't have the habit of entering details daily. It just had accounts from random days.
I climbed up to my bed, pulled my blanket up and got in a comfortable position and began reading.
July 16, 2007
Today I had a big fight with mom. I mean, I am 18. Why does she think she has to micromanage everything I do? My head is a mess already without her shouting at me. If dad was alive, she would have been saner and I would have had a peaceful life. I want to escape from this hell.
July 30, 2007
Annie gave me a book today. It's called The Bell Jar. She said that this book might help me solve all the problems I have in my head. Let me see.
August 15, 2007
The book spoke a lot to me. I could relate to Esther a lot. She said drowning was the kindest way to die. But what if you are not brave enough to make that decision?
September 1, 2007
The past few weeks have been a living hell for me. I couldn't get into any colleges. My mother seemed to give up on me. I heard her talking to Ms. Gracie that I was hopeless. She said that I am taking after my father. Am I? Did dad also feel this heavy blanket of nothingness on him every time. Did he also feel his energy seep through his fingertips every time he wanted to do something? I don't think so. At Least he had a job. He had us. If I had dad with me, I don't think I would be weighed down by this stinky wet blanket. Will I be happy? Or should I kill myself to free mom from this agony?
September 20, 2007
I went to the coffee shop today after a long time. It took me a lot of energy to drag myself out of my house. I didn't come out to have fun. I just wanted to escape mom's questions on what I am planning for my future. What shall I say when my mind is as black as charcoal. I didn't know what I would do tomorrow let alone my future. If I say this will she understand?
October 10, 2007
Mom got me a job at the town library. I never knew Worcester had such a beautiful library. Strangely, the atmosphere in the library lifted a little weight off my back. The blanket covering me seemed to be partially lifted up and I could breathe more freely. I am liking this place more than I thought.
November 2, 2007
This man came in today for a new membership. I was the one who assisted him through the process. He seemed nice. He smiled wholeheartedly and talked to me. His eyes were the prettiest I have ever seen. They shone each time he smiled. I felt calmer and happier every second I was with him. Strangely, I want to know more about him. Gathering all my strength, I asked his name as he was leaving the library. He said he would say his name if I came to the coffee shop in the market this Saturday at 5. Should I go?
November 3, 2007
I went. His name is Daron. He moved to the big castle up north a week before. He is a professor in English at University of Worcester. When I said I didn't study after high school, he did not look offended or disappointed like the others do. He said that working in the library was better than most other professions. His reassurance made me more confident. We chatted for hours and hours and he walked me home. I am charmed by him. I hope he feels the same. We will be meeting again next Saturday. Nothing worries me when I am with him.
December 12, 2007
He asked me to be his girlfriend today. I have never been happier. After all the dates we went last month, I was sure we were meant to be. I didn't even think before I said yes. Each time he looks at me, I can see his love for me. The way he delicately holds my hands when we are talking, the way he takes everything I say seriously and most importantly the way he promises to never let me overpowered by the sad old blanket. Each second we spend together, we are becoming closer and closer. I don't think I can imagine spending my life with someone else.
January 1, 2008
This was the best new year I had in my life. I was the happiest. I feel like I will never be sad again. Daron asked me to be his wife. I said yes right away. As his parents already passed away, the only person we had to ask permission was my mother. She was happy that I was finally doing something normal. She was satisfied with this relationship and gave blessings to us. Yes, finally my life is getting better. I am never going to be unhappy.
January 30, 2008
I don't think anyone can love me like Daron. He is an amazing husband.
"What? Where are the rest of the pages?" I was confused. After January 30, a lot of pages were missing as if somebody tore it out. I could see the tear marks where the pages were ripped from the bind. As long as I read, I understood that David's mother was pretty happy after she met this man. Since the rest of the pages were missing, I couldn't understand what happened after their marriage. I frantically shuffled through the pages and the bind to see if there was anything left. And then on the very last page before the bind of the diary, a last entry was written.
August 11, 2010
I can't take it anymore.
I just couldn't understand what brought about the shift from being the happiest wife to being fed up. The diary held no more answers. In fact, it made me more curious and confused than I was before.
"No matter what, I will confront Amanda tomorrow. I need to know the truth." I put the diary on the bedside table and turned off the lights to sleep. It was well past midnight and I wasn't sure if I would be able to sleep with all these doubts running around my mind. I forced my eyes closed and tried to get some sleep before speaking to Amanda tomorrow.
YOU ARE READING
A Mother's Embrace
HorrorThe story about a mother who will always protect her child, even when fate pulled them into different worlds. But, the warm embrace of this mother soon becomes a cobweb which traps many innocent lives in it. The novel is now completed.