"You know thomas, I used to wonder if it made me a bad person when I wished that you died instead of my brother" Charlotte looked at him, his cigarette slowly coming to an end.
"No, it doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human lottie" Thoma...
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Grief is a funny thing. One day you're telling that person that you love them and the next you're standing over their grave.
One day your oblivious to what's around the corner and the next you're in a world of pain.
For Charlotte , she expected that letter two weeks after she never got a reply from her brother Elliot . What she didn't expect is that Thomas Shelby was with her brother when he died.
She blamed him. It was all his fault , he was responsible for getting Eli to enlist in the war , he was easily influenced that way and wanted to be apart of something.
Since her brother died Charlotte was no longer the smiley girl she used to be. She became more quiet, kept to herself.
Since the shelbys left for the war polly and charlotte took over the buisness. She spent her days in the betting shop , the younger ones helping out where they could.
John , Arthur and Thomas all sent charlotte letters. She stopped replying once she got the news that her brother was killed in action. She didn't throw them away but instead kept them in a box under her bed.
She felt bad for not replying to the eldest and youngest Shelby but she needed time. Time to slowly heal and adjust to life on her own.
Today was the day that the Shelby's were coming back from war. It pained her to know that whilst one family will be reunited hers will never be whole again.
She knew she could find a family , marry someone and then have a new family but it wouldn't be the same as the comfort and joy her brother brought her.
When her parents died Charlotte thought her life was meaningless. Her brother helped her realise it wasn't and that she should keep going until she finds something she loves.
And she did, she found work with polly shelby whilst the boys were away at war. All the numbers keeping her head occupied whilst the looming thought of what letter would she get that week, a letter from her brother or a letter that he had died.
The same anxiety loomed in the whole betting shop , everyone anxiously waiting for the war to be finished and the Shelby men to be back home.
Today was the day that the boys returned. Charlotte was nervous as she hadn't seen the boys in years. And they would also not be coming back with her brother.
The group went away as a four and shall return as a three, the eldest brooks boy absent from the group.
Standing at the train platform , a young Finn Shelby clinging to her side. Polly and ada standing next to each other waiting on the train to arrive.
The train came to a screeching stop. The families on the platform all waiting anxiously to be reunited with their sons who did their part for the country.
The soldiers began to file out of the train, everyone scanning the crowd for their loved ones. Her eyes spotted John Shelby stepping off the train. She gave Finn a little nudge who went running over to his older brother.
Ada and polly followed , noticing Arthur and Thomas step off the train. Watching the family reuinion brought a tear to Charlottes eye.
She was happy that the boys had made it back but her brother should've been part of the group. She quickly wiped her stray tear before they got any further.
"Lottie" John muttered as he pulled her in for a hug "I'm so sorry Lottie" he mumbled as he stroked her back. "It's ok John. It wasn't your fault" she whispered back
He pulled away and there she saw Arthur standing before her, he never spoke but pulled her into a bone crushing hug which told her all the words he couldn't say.
Once he pulled away finn took her hand and they began walking back to watery lane. Charlotte stayed a few doors down from the shelbys , in the house her parents bought for them to live in. Now only Charlotte inhabits the flat on the lane.
Walking ahead of the group Charlotte and Finn were listening to ada talk the boys' ears off. "Are you excited finn? They're going to get to see you everyday now!" Charlotte exclaimed. "You won't need to ask me about their letters anymore"
Charlotte didn't open the letters addressed to her but always read Finn the small paragraphs the boys would send him. She felt sorry for him as he didn't fully understand what was happening at first.
He was only a young boy. Watching the boys reminisce of the last days they spent in Birmingham Charlotte thought of her brother.
She longed for the opportunity to be able to update her brother fully on what happened whilst he was away, to hear his voice and his laugh again but she knew that wouldn't be possible.
Whilst the Shelby family got caught up with one another Charlotte took her leave from the group as they rounded the corner onto watery lane. "I'll see you tomorrow finn ok?" Charlotte looked at the young boy "now you go pester your brothers for once" Charlotte smiled as the young boy ran off towards Arthur and John.
Before Charlotte got a chance to start walking away Polly grabbed her arm "I'm sorry love, I know today would've been hard for you" Polly pulled the girl into a hug and began whispering something in her ear "now don't you go home and sit in despair, it wasn't your fault and never will be. You can't feel guilt for what happened" Polly pulled away from the woman and smiled at her.
"Thanks pol, I know it wasn't. Honestly I blame Thomas for it all. If he didn't get Elliot to enlist he would still be here" Charlotte admitted , she had never said the words out loud before, let alone to Thomas' aunt.
"It won't always feel like that Charlotte, you just need time to heal and to also talk about what you're feeling with people, people that care about you and want to see you in a better place" Polly explained, she always did have a kind heart , she just wasn't the best at showing it.
"I know polly, it just hurts. How can I talk about someone who did so much for me and won't even get to see the rest of my life? He could've found the one and settled down , but I won't get to find that out" Charlotte explained.
"We will finish this conversation another time okay? I'm here to help you Charlotte not to get angry at what you're saying or give my own opinion" Polly explained more, she had a soft spot for the brooks girl.
"Thank you polly , really I don't know where I would be without you" Charlotte smiled a genuine smile before she waved goodbye to Ada and went off to her own apartment.
[ hey guys! New story up , hopefully you all enjoy it! I've been in a peaky blinders fixation for a wee bit and finally decided to write a fic. this has been sitting in my drafts for a while because I kept coming back to it but hopefully it's good. If you're here from the first post hey, I did take it down Because I didn't like it and decided to work on it whilst also making TikToks for the story. If you're here from tiktok, hey, I know I have been posting TikToks about it for a while and it's took me so long to publish but thank you for waiting. Hopefully it lives up to your standards]
