Underground

Late Night

I love the nighttime. The limitless darkness is comforting, you can do anything and very few people will notice. My favorite thing to do is talk to my reflection, and they do respond. I'm not insane, I swear. My reflection's pretty nice on most days, but they only exist in mirrors, as one would think. I'm working on finding a way to make them human, but until then portable mirrors will have to do. I'll do this quietly.

"Hey, Cap?"

"what."

"Hi."

"hello, fl-"

"No."

"what do you mean no."

"I don't use that name anymore."

"you don't? my apologies."

"No need to apologize, there was no way you could've known."

"that's true. any closer to finding a way to get me out of here?"

"Not yet."

I forgot to look, honestly. 

"oh well, i'll let you sleep."

"Talk again tomorrow. You might see someone new."

"exciting."

It is my guy. Anyway, more history for you. Cap, or Clio, just appeared in my mirror one day and I haven't bothered making him leave. I don't mind not seeing myself in a mirror, and for a faceless shadowy figure, they're pretty cute. But one day, they'll be able to proudly stand next to me as a real human.

That's a day I'm willing to wait for, no matter how long it takes.

When I was hanging around the casino, I'd take the night to hang with my siblings at the park. We'd have a picnic of sorts, bringing food we bought or made during the day. Sometimes there would be the occasional person who was mad at us for... eating food? I never understood why. We never made much noise, or any, really. All of my sisters where pretty soft talkers, we only made noise on New Years, which is like the one day it's acceptable. 

Even still, this'll be my first night in a while without seeing them, and without eating. Those picnics were the only times I ate during the day, and it's a habit I'll struggle to break.

Tomorrow I'll send Pear a text of where I am, and we'll arrange plans from there. Until then I could try and sleep, but my stimulants have messed up my circadian rhythm so much that I'm basically nocturnal. That's not a flex, more of a complaint. I can't sleep when I want to, and fall asleep at the worst possible times during the day. I can't drive, not that anyone cares.

I wouldn't call my narcolepsy very severe, just annoying and makes me want to fucking die. I'll be walking and oops, sorry, you don't know how to walk, tired bitch. Coffee? No arms. Perish. Do you need to be up early and have energy? No. You sleep for 12 hours then maybe wake up. Your appointment was 6 hours ago, lazy bitch.

Life is pain and Existence is Stimulated. 

No one has ever given me any help beyond stimulants but they work, and coffee is gross, so I call it a win.

In the end, have a friend stuck in a mirror, I miss my family, and my sleep schedule is shit. 

What does Cass have on that? No family, related or not, struggles with receiving positive emotions (seemingly), and he's constantly treated like a bent playing card. You can't play properly without him, but no one else gets joy from looking at him. 

I do, though. I think he's cute. I'll dial back the affection for now, I don't think he likes the feeling of blushing. Or me, probably. He's not gay, he's said that.

Stop chasing fantasy, Heathers, the clouds aren't friendly.