Cat jackets and Satan

Chap 1:Say hello to Hell for me

Juby woke up with a jump. The kind where your heart stops and your body jerks, yanking you into the real world. Juby was in a mess of limbs, a foot dangling off the bed and her limbs in weird positions. Carefully, she brought her arms and legs close to her body then stretched in a way that'd make her cats proud. With a soft yawn, she blinked and stared upsidedown at her wall. A blinking red light read the time from her alarm clock.
3:54 am
She blinked again. What the hell had woken her up? She listened for any sound in her house.

Silence.

Juby's face contorted into confusion, her eyebrows drawing together. Keeping quiet she rolled herself onto her stomach than got up. Mindful of not tripping on her saggy black pajama pants and righting her tank top. She crept down the hallway, pausing to slip into her little window nook to grab her bat, propped up againist the wall.
Nothing seemed wrong. Her living room was shrouded in shadows but moonlight managed to get in thanks to the large windows in her house. Juby felt something soft run by, brushing her leg. She chuckled. "White kitty." She called out softly. It was a bit of a tradition to name white or black cats after their color, been like that since she was a little girl. A well-fed Siamese came out from behind the couch. "There you are. Wha cha doing silly? Running around and waking mommy, uh?"
The cat meowed at her ducking behind the couch. Juby expected her cat to jump into the couch. She didn't expect the sound of pain to accompany it. She felt her body still and she raised her bat in shaky hands. Peering around the couch, she came eye-to-eye with her unexpected intruder.
Brown hair, messy and lashing. It vaguely reminded her of octopus tentacles. Bright startled eyes of...pink? Behind a frame of glass that switched between Juby and the cat making itself comfortable on his chest. She never thought a robber would look like some pastel hipster. A eyesore teal sweater torn and ripped, his pants even worse. An entire leg up to his knee had been ripped off. Little ruby spheres hanging from wire hooks were his earrings. He looked shocked, eyes darting everywhere with...was that soot all over his face?
"Can i help you?" Juby growled out eyeing this weird visitor.
"Uh?" He whipped his head back to her, shaking white kitty and causing her to jump off. The stranger eyed the cat cautiously before he spoke. "Uh, sorry. Um, well, it's your lucky day it seems. Or night? Your my new host!"
"Host?"
The stranger grinned and bounced up. He was slender but had some muscle, skin a lovely almost perfect shade of tan. She leaned back as he bounded up to her.
"Yup! Your my host! Nice to meet you, the name's Satan, well, i mean, Lucifer really, but you guys sometimes call me Satan and I'm fine with that name too. So you know, whatever you wanna call me."
"Excuse me?"
"What? Your not some religious nut who thinks this is some punishment or something, right? Big guy upstairs makes sure not to do that. Can't give his little followers heart-attacks, ya know."
"Are...you on drugs sweetie? How did you get in my house?"
"No, I'm not!" 'Satan' whined, "Your my host. Occasionally the big guy decides that in order to keep me in check while he's all busy, ya know, running the world and all. He'll have one of his little humans babysit me."
"He'd let a human watch over the ruler of Hell? The place were the baddest baddies go?" Juby couldn't believe it. What the hell was this guy on?
"Well, he gives them some help. Ain't no use having a dead babysitter. He'll give ya protection, so like, i can't toss hellfire at ya or let demons munch on you. Basically with me around, your immortal. 'God mode' i like to call it." He purred leaning against her. He felt light as a feather, yet vaguely she felt she should had been struggling to withstand his weigh. "Basically as my host, your unable to feel pain, from me or demons and nothing can kill you. Sweet deal, right?"
"Really? Sweet deal? With the devil..."
"Uh, with God actually. That's what you guys call him nowadays, right?"
Juby shook her head in distain and shoved him off her. He was at least a half-foot shorter than her, so the shove pushed him down onto the ground.
"Sorry." She murmured. She really wasn't.
"Rude. But it's fine. Not everyday this type of thing happens uh?" He grinned popping back up. He paused though then quickly ducked behind her. She whirred around.
"The hell are you-"
"Shush!" Satan hissed clutching her arms tightly and holding her still. He was hiding behind her, eyeing something. She slowly turned to see what he was looking at. Her fat orange tabby, Charile, was currently curled up on a glass table softly purring like a sports car.
".....that's my cat."
"Shhh, i know it's a cat. So....he was right."
"What? Who was?"
"Him...he was right, that you guys let these magnificent creatures among you." Charile got up and hacked for a few moments than settled back down. Juby stared at her cat than the devil who stared with wide eyes.
"Magnificent uh? This isn't some weird fetish, right? Or you got that Egyptian mindset, where the cats are gods."
"Silence yourself, your lucky they allow you to shelter them!" He shouted appalled.
"Well. This was fun," Juby broke his grip twirling away, "But it's time to go, I'll call your family, maybe the cops, give you water and some good advice: Don't do drugs you junkie!"
"I'm not doing drugs! I am Satan! Or Lucifer! What ever you call me, so long as it's nice!"
"Ugghhh." Juby threw up her hands. Before the argument could escalate, Juby's phone rang. Both paused in stilled horror. "Crap!" She bolted grabbing the red phone off the wall hook and stared at Satan, Lucifer??? Hell person! "Uh, Hello? Juby Jebuses."
"Hi, Juby. This is your Aunt May. I apologize for the timing but I'm coming to visit! Your parents are busy so I'm taking the offer to stay with you."
Offer? What, oh. Right. Duty of family to house other family members...
"Uh, that's great Aunt May! But, um, I'm afraid it might be a bit crowded. Sure you coming down now?"
"Oh hon, I'm already here. Well, almost. I'm outside Florida right now. Staying in a little hotel. Can't go all the way back to New York now, can i?"
"Oh...well. ok, but uh, I'm really busy right now. Sure you can't stay with mom and dad?"
"I might be able to, but the deal was to stay at your place."
"Y-yeah i get that, but, um, i got a roomate! Close friend of mine, who's ,uh, doing a...um." Juby looked over to Lucifer who looked just as panicked as her. He looked all around the room, grabbing one of her flim cameras off a table and pointing at it. "Flim project! It's very hard work and i don't know, it'll be crowded here and we'll be up late working and hissing at light, cause ya know. Flim and sunlight doesn't go well together he...hee..."
"Oh? And what's this friend's name?"
"Uh, Lucy. He's a really nice guy..." Juby felt like something about that sentence was wrong. Lucifer stared at her with a funny face.
"A guy named Lucy? Uh, never heard that one before. And nice you say, Oh?"
"Not like that Aunt May."
"Oh, of course." Aunt May giggled. Juby sighed. Lucifer was now toying with her camera. She watched listening to her aunt drone as he aimed the lens at his face than clicked, blinding himself with the flash.
This was once one of the most beautiful angels, and the furious king of Hell.
Currently wearing a fluffy sweater and dazily staring at the ceiling cause he just blinded himself. Juby didn't feel herself say goodbye as her aunt hung up. She just held the phone up to her ear. This was her life now. Not even the droneing ring of the wall phone begging to be hung up could comfort her.
"Iiiiiinnnnngggggggg...."